Yesterday

Yesterday my hair turned out great....Great!
So great that I thought to myself...Hey! Where is that cute matching necklace and earring set?
Wouldn't that go perfect with this shirt and my perfect, perfect hair?

Yesterday it also rained most of the day.
Tsk...What good is perfect hair in the rain?

Today, I struggled to put every. single. one. of. my. bangs into its rightful place.
It's humid as hell from all the rain yesterday and my hair didn't work at all.

Some days I admit that I would like to find the missing electric dog shears
and do away with these offending locks once and for all.

Most days I realize how trivial this all sounds.

Really? Bad and good hair days?
That's what you blog about ....hair?!

I blog about my life.
I realize that my life is no worse off or better off than anybody else's.
It's MY take on it that gives it any meaning I suppose.

Now, mind you, I'm not really all that upset over the fact that my hair didn't work today.
But I'm trying to piece something together here.

Yesterday, the neighbor boy tried to lure my 4 year old grandson to the hidden side of their house, which is out of my range of vision. When I yelled at my grandson that he-
"COULD.NOT.GO.WHERE.GRANNY.CAN'T.SEE.YOU" he pitched a fit.
And started to disobey me by heading over to the hidden side.
Naughty neighbor boy was taunting my grandson by calling and calling and calling his name.
When the naughty neighbor boy finally came around the corner of the hidden side of that house  he held in both of his hands a large rock.
Now when I say large rock, I mean small boulder. It was larger than a 16" softball.

Naughty neighbor boy has anger and behavioral issues, is 6 years old, is being raised by his Aunt and he has a Mama who prefers her crack pipe to her boy.
He has in the past tried to hit my grandson over the head with a plastic (under the bed sized) toy box.
Now, I ain't stupid. I know this boy has some issues.
Which is why I NEVER let my grandson play with him out of my sight ever.
But the sight of that rock made me want to throw up.
And I wondered to myself if I was making more outta this than there really was.
But I couldn't stop picturing in my head what could have happened with that rock.

To say I was upset is putting it mildly.
If I am remembering correctly, some of the first words outta my mouth were
Big and Fucking and Rock.
Naughty boys Uncle came running when he heard me yelling.
After that the uncle made naughty boy go inside.

I took the grand kids for a walk around the block.
On the block behind us, there lives a friend of mine and her three boys, ages 5, 3 and 1.
I stop to let the kids play for a bit and tell her my story about the boy and the rock.
Before I'm even finished she says "That makes me feel sick".
So was I making more of it than I should have?
Was it just the thought in my head that made it so much worse?
Should I have waited for the rock to do damage before I made a mountain outta a mole hill?
Should I not have swore out loud so loudly??

In the blink of an eye, my grandsons life, naughty boys life, my life, could have been altered forever.

And my point is this...
Do I want to be the kind of person who worries about what her hair looks like?
Do I want to be the kind of person who imagines the worst case scenario of what might have been?
Do I want to be the kind of person who talks to a neighbor about a naughty boy with issues?

Maybe....No....and it depends.

It scared the begeezus out a me, if you want the honest to God truth.
I think naughty boy is truly capable of harming another kid.
I'm thinking that I need to rethink any thought I have of these 2 ever playing together again.

Life can change in the blink of an eye.
Life can change with the tossing of a stone.
Life can change with a walk around the block.

I'm thinking that I need to worry less about my hair.

Life in the Garden

I read this blog today and something about it resonated with me.
It was the last sentence about new life being breathed into her spirit thru her garden.
I marveled at her ability to see the yellow abdomen on that spider
and call it gorgeous, and then to say thanks to it for helping keep her garden safe.
I also don't kill bugs and spiders that live outside of my home.
After all, they need to live somewhere. And they are good for the garden.
But I've never ever had the thought to say thanks to any of them for what they do
or taken the time to see anything beautiful or gorgeous about their colors.
Bugs creep me out. They just do. There's usually an EEK coming outta my mouth when one of them makes their presence known to me.
What I liked was that her garden was breathing new life into her spirit.

As I watch my gardens come back to life, especially after the winter we had,
I can feel something coming back to life in me too.
There is a happiness that pervades me all day long. A lift to my spirit.
I can feel it deep in my bones.
I can feel it deep in my bones because I knew it was missing.
Only I didn't know it was missing until it came back.
That's when I realized that a part of me had gone missing for quite a while.
That's when I realized that perhaps Birdie's black dog had been wintering in my back yard.
It's strange though.....I only realized he had been there after he had gone.

Was it S.A.D.? I've never had it before.
Was it true depression? I don't know cuz I've never had that before either.
Once it had lifted, I realized how heavy it had been to carry.
Does that make sense?
Whatever...it's how it felt to me.

I feel lighter, happier, more content.
I like the feeling of something coming back to life inside of me.
Kinda like my gardens coming back to life.
I like the smell of the earth, the dirt, the soil and mud.
I like putting a plant in the ground and watching it blossom into something beautiful.
I like pulling weeds. I like putting together my container gardens for my porch.
I like buying flats of flowers and placing each flower in what ends up being the perfect spot.

And while I am aware that I am not doing a blessed thing towards alleviating
World hunger or child trafficking or guns and violence or war...
I am doing what I know I need to do to in order to bring a little happy into my world.
By beautifying my little corner of it.

I don't mean to be flip. I'm not out to try and save this world. Only God can do that.
And Birdie, I mean no disrespect by assuming that it was your black dog in my yard.
But something was keeping me from feeling the joy in life.
And something about being in my garden has brought it back.

Maybe it's the new life I see growing around me.
Maybe it's the feeling of the Sun on my face and back and arms.
Maybe it's my hands in the dirt, knees to the ground.
Maybe it's the birds that I hear singing.
Maybe it's the Vitamin D pills working their way into my system.

Whatever it is, I'm soaking it up, absorbing what I can thru sound, sight, touch and smell.
Life in my garden is bringing me back to life.

Sorry, but no black dogs allowed.

June

How does the time fly by so fast??
It's June!
My last post was in May.
I blinked and here it is June already.

Summer weather is here.
It's sunny and hot.
We could use some rain.

I've not even planted my gardens yet.
I'd best get on that.

I'm still here, just a little preoccupied.
Wish I could find the time to post more.
With it being Summer and all tho,
I don't think that is gonna happen.

I'll check in when I can.

I feel like I've got a gazillion things
that I want to tell you.

Stay with me friends....I'll be back.