Monday, May 20, 2013

God's in the pages

I feel like I've got Attention Deficit Disorder.
My mind is going in thirty directions all at once.
I'm reading 3 different books right now and not getting much outta any one of them.
Mind you, I am breaking my own cardinal rule on reading;
One does not start another book until the first one is finished.
But for some reason here lately, I can't seem to get my hands on enough reading material.
Stacks and stacks of books are being checked out by me from my local library.
I have $60.00 worth of books in my Amazon cart.
15 books borrowed from my best friend CC.
I read the dust cover, or the back of the book and I have to have it.
I hear of a book on the news or see another bloggers reading list and I'm on the hunt again.
Gardening books, awakening books, Jesus and all things spiritual books.
Books about saving one's own soul, learning to let go and living in God's grace.
Cook books, prayer books, comfort, joy and simplistic living books.
The Good Book.
Some of them I devour.
Cover to cover in an hour.
Others touch me so deeply that all I want to do is start highlighting and underlining passages.
(For some reason my local library frowns on this sort of thing)
I dog ear pages. Slip in little scraps of paper as book marks.
Sticky notes are stuffed in the creases.
And why am I doing this you might ask?
Cuz I see God in these pages.
And that makes me sound crazy, I know.
But that is what is happening.
God is showing Himself to me thru the paragraphs
and passages and quotes that I am finding in these tomes.
I can tell that it's God because of the way that it makes me feel.
Like I've come home. Like I can breath again. Like I have been saved.

Sometimes I can read something and it instantly resonates within my soul like I've heard it before.
It's as if I've known this quote all along but have forgotten it somehow.
As if the hidden meaning behind this certain paragraph has been written specifically for me.
But it's not just one or two books that this is happening with. 
It is every book.  Every. Single. Book.
I'm finding that God has decided to use books to draw me in to His presence.
And I think to myself...
"How cool is that?!"
That God is using something He knows is so important to me
Something that I feel is necessary to my very survival
That has saved my life on more than one occassion
The thing that I equate with being able to breathe
Reading. And Books.
He's reaching out to me through words.
He whispers to me through these pages written by others. 
He beckons me to come closer to Him.
To have a relationship with Him.
To find myself in Him. 
To trust Him.
Isn't there a saying somewhere about falling into the arms of a good book?
What if I fell into the arms of Jesus? 
What if that is one and the same???
I know, I know!! Mind Blown!

P.S. 2 quotes I found about reading. Nothing about falling into the arms of a book but whatever....... 

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.  ~Charles W. Eliot

Medicine for the soul.  ~Inscription over the door of the Library at Thebes

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

An appointment

Can I tell you about my Hairdresser?
The lady what cuts my hair?

Can I tell you how often she saves me from myself?

How she's honest about telling me what styles won't work for my hair.

How she has this way of talking to me
that makes me feel special
and beautiful
and worthy
all at the same time.

How she shares her life stories with me
And makes me feel like I am not alone
in this world of woman who are too skinny
who wear low rise jeans
without the muffin top some of us are sporting.

How she gets it when I say I wish "Mom jeans" would come back into style
and she doesn't say   ewww...Mom!  like my daughters do.

When she talks about certain bras giving her "back fat"
and I thought I was the only one who was worried
and embarrassed about this.

How I feel like her twin sister
cuz we are both worried
or amazed
or thinking about
the exact same things
that women in their 50's
or think about.

I always leave there shorter in my locks
and lighter in my soul.

I always feel like I can take on the world
after an appointment with her

It's an I Am Woman Hear Me Roar kind of thing.

My hair swings
My soul sings
My life has wings.

She makes me feel stronger about myself
and I love her for that.

This from Ann Voskamp-

"There are sisters who will carry you and sisters who will bend with you and pray with you and sisters who help heave the stones off.
What if we lifted a burden off a woman, what she was carrying around only because she thought the bulk of it was part of her?"

Thanks Kim...for helping me to heave off the stones.

Thursday, May 2, 2013


He walks into the house and says "It smells like piss in here."
(Well, Hello to you too!)
Really? I say.
(I don't smell it.)
"Oh yeah", he says. "Real bad. And it's worse in the TV room!"
(I don't smell it at all.)
We've got two Chihuahuas.
Chihuahuas with small little brains
and even smaller bladders.
I take them outside and they pee every where.
They come inside and 5 minutes later they pee again
on the floor, or the carpet or the throw blanket that is
dangling from the corner of the recliner.
I don't know who's the bigger jerk here.
Him for smelling piss and telling me about it
Or the dogs for putting the smell in here in the first place.
It's a never ending, no win situation.
I battle dog piss on a daily basis like it's my job.
Febreeze is sprayed and puppy pee pads are in place.
I see either one of them sniffing around
or starting to squat and it's out the door we go.
It's. Just. Never. Enough.
I've used Canine enzyme remover, Glade Air Freshener, candles, Baking Soda
You name it.
Nothing deters the little F-ers from soiling my house!
I mop, wipe, spray, powder and still
Still! He can smell piss in the house.
And there the dogs sit looking cute and innocent
As if to say Who? Us? We didn't do it.

First World problems...I know.
It gets harder and harder to sit here and complain about the state of my house.
The fact that I have a house should be enough for me to be grateful.

Most times, I forget how lucky I truly am
To live in America
To have not 1 car in the driveway but 3
And a boat
And a motorcycle
Furnace, Air Conditioning, Dishwasher, Clothes Washer and Dryer
TV, DVD player, Cable, Lap Tops(2)
Indoor plumbing, hot and cold running water, electricity
Full pantry, cupboards and Refrigerator/Freezer

To live in our single family dwelling
with our pissing on the hardwood floor Chihuahuas
and one cranky feline

Our grown children living close by with their spouses
Two beautiful grandchildren- a boy and a girl
30 years of marriage and we are still together

How dare I complain!

But I do.

And I'm sorry for that, Lord.

Sorry that I am so pissy all the time.

I'm blessed and I know it.

Help me to not forget this Lord.

Even whilst I mop up the piss, again.