Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Flirtin' with the devil

An atheist nephew and I had ugly words on Facebook.
He posted what I would call a baited post.
One of those posts with a picture and inflammatory words
that is designed to get a reaction from people.
I knew it was a baited. I knew it and I responded anyway.
That was my first mistake.
The second mistake I made was letting his heated response
to my original response get under my skin.
But his words came fast and ugly towards me and caught me off guard.
I had told him "Shame on you" for posting this to Facebook.
His response was to call me morally deficient and stupid
for believing in, in his words, "an impotent and evil god."
He went on for a few more paragraphs and ended his diatribe with
the words "Shame on You".
And I felt it...that shame that he heaped on me.
I wanted to retaliate with a few choice words of my own
but the thought popped into my brain that this is what he wanted.
He wanted to engage someone in a heated debate.
Why else would you want to post something so inflammatory
and so flagrant by a known atheist?
Pity me for the only fool who rose to the bait.
I will not be so easily fooled or tested again.
My nephews anger towards me rendered me speechless.
I didn't know how to defend myself or the God I love and believe in.
Isn't that horrible?
I know better than to get into a debate with this kid.
He's brilliantly smart... freakishly so.
He's a nuclear physicist or some such thing at NASA,
he's 30 years old and he's been angry at God his whole life.
I normally steer clear of him.
How horrible is that??
Avoiding my own nephew because he feels toxic to me.
This isn't or wasn't my first encounter with him RE: God.
So, yeah, maybe shame on me for engaging with him over Facebook.
I wonder if the devil made me do it.

I'm confused as to why most atheists seem so angry all the time.
The God I love and worship and believe in makes me happy.
HE brings me so much peace and serenity.
I don't want to fight and argue over what you choose to not believe in.
Life is all about choices. You make yours and I'll make mine.

But I still feel like I need to defend myself against that stupid FB post!
The atheist talks about sick and dying children and their parents.
How millions of children suffer and die each year
While their parents prayers go unanswered.
The atheist wants to know how can we worship a God that
lets children die?

And that's what hit my sore spot.
I don't feel like God killed my child.
I don't feel like God let my child die.
I don't blame God for taking her from me.
I don't blame God for letting my sister die.
I don't blame Him for killing my father or my grandparents.

How do you accuse God of causing death and heartache and suffering
and in the next breath say you don't believe in Him at all?
See what I mean ?
That is essentially why I feel that that FB post was baited.

And I am truly sorry that I allowed myself to get all riled up about it.
I'm sorry that I ever responded to it.
I wish I had prayed instead.
I wish I had prayed for that atheist and for my nephew.
I wish I had prayed for myself to not be tempted.
I wish I had prayed to God to give me peace in that moment.
To close my eyes, help me to take a deep breath, and to let it go.

As long as I continue to wallow in this, the devil wins.
So I'm letting it go today.

My God,
I beg your forgiveness for not knowing how to defend myself
against another persons anger and beliefs.
I beg you and thank you for your Grace that covers all of my sins.
Be with me today, as I let this thing go.
Grant me the peace that I am looking for, a peace I know I can find in you.
Help me as I learn to share You with others in a peaceful, loving way.


  1. God can defend himself.....its ok. Facebook is a weird social arena. My oldest son and I can't even be friends on FB because we argue! lol Over stuff like that.....not atheistic stuff, but I cringe at some of the things he posts and if I say anything...its combustible! We get along much better in real life. Love your nephew as he is. Anger usually has roots of fear. He has so much figured out in life, but maybe this is something he can't *really* get a grasp on and that freaks him out. Its Gods job to defend and draw His kids to Himself. We get to just be the conduits.....the ones who show God's love.

  2. Have I told you lately that I love you? You, Annette, bring me peace so much of the time. Your comments always ring true and honest and heart felt. Thank you so much for being you and for commenting here.