Tuesday, June 30, 2015

No complaining, right?

Went to my last dental appt today. Finally got that last cavity filled.
Had the rest of my teeth cleaned. Had the last of my gums scraped.
And realized that my dental hygienist is a condescending bitch.
Sorry Lord.
That must be the pain talking. But for real...she was rude.
Asking me questions that she really didn't care about.
Interrupting with a new question as I was answering the old one.
Asking me if I liked to eat popcorn...it embarrassed me.
I cried cuz it hurt and she told me to stop touching my face,
As I was wiping away my tears.

No more complaining, right?
Thank You Jesus for my teeth.

It's mid summer here and I'm waiting for some summer sun.
No complaining, right?
Thank You Jesus that I haven't had to water my gardens yet.

We are going on vacation with all of our kids and grandkids.
No complaining, right?
Thank You Jesus for kids and grandkids and vacations.

Thank You for the verdant green of a lush overly wet summer.
Thank You for libraries that have children's DVD's and books to read.
Thank You for time-off of work and schedules that coincide and
and enough money to be able to afford a family vacation.
Thank You for cabins in the woods and for Mt. Rushmore and the Badlands.
Thank You that we are all healthy enough to travel and to drive ourselves
in cars that we can afford and that we get along better than well enough
to spend the next 7 days together in 4 rooms plus a kitchenette and a bathroom.

Thank You for eyes to see and ears to hear.
Thank You for legs that work and teeth that chew.
Thank You for these creaky bones that hold up this 53 year old body-
Without them I'd be a puddle on the floor.
Thank You Jesus for dentists that give a shit about my teeth.
Thank You for cranky rude hygienists that ask me inane questions.
Thank You Jesus for popcorn.

Thank You Jesus for left over spaghetti for dinner
And for the Pinot Grigio that I drank with it.

Thank You for the sunshine today
and for the grandson that I played outside in it with.
Thank You for 3 hour naps for 2 year old grandaughters.
Thank You for a husband that works overtime
so he can be free for a week of vacation.

Thank You Jesus for all of it.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015


My 2 year old grandaughter likes washing her hands.
When we play outside, I prop open the screen porch door
so they can come and go as they need to-
to fetch new toys and so my 5 year old grandson can go potty.
Yesterday my grandaughter came up to me with mud on her hands.
There is a tiny hill of mud in one corner of the yard leftover
from planting a bush and they have been digging in it.

I brushed the dry mud from her hands and said to her
"There! All clean!"....and unleashed her fury.
NOOOOO!!! she screamed at me.
She marched herself  right back to that mud pile
where she grabbed 2 fist fulls of mud, marched back to me,
then marched passed me with her two tiny clenched fists
and with all her strength hurled that mud into the screen porch
via the propped open door.

She turned around, walked back over to me and with the sweetness of a Viper
said  "Me wash hands Granny?"

Uh...sure. Let's go wash your hands.

Back in the yard a few minutes later they both want
to play with the bubble mower at the same time.
They spill 32 ounces of bubble mixture on the ground
while wrestling each other to fill the "gas tank".
When she asks for more bubbles I tell her that they are all gone.
NOOOO!.....more fury is unleashed.

Earlier in the day she had asked to play with their tiny pop up tent.
She said "C'mon brother..play with me."
Brother refused ....and unleashed her fury.
She dove at him with her fingers extended like claws.
He defended himself a little too harshly.
She howled and scratched and clawed,
He threw her down after shoving her in the face.
I physically had to pull the two of them apart.
Into separate corners they went for a 5 minute time out.
One minute into this time out he says to me-
"Granny? When I'm done with my time out can I play
with the pop up tent?"

What the.....????
Seriously??? I wanted to lose my mind right then.
Five minutes later they both crawled into that tent and laughed
and played nicely together til snack time.

I have the day off today unexpectedly and I'm lonely for them.
I need my head examined I suppose. I feel at a loss sitting here by myself.
Most days are spent feeding, chasing, wiping, separating the two of them.
What do I do without them?? Laundry? Mop floors? Grocery shop?
Work on this blog post for two hours??

Okay, okay...Time's up. I'm gonna head out.
Wasted too much time trying to say I miss my grandkids.

Friday, June 19, 2015

A day in this life.

My painful tooth has been pulled.
I cry when I come out of anesthesia...anybody else do that?
Wonder if it's my body's way of feeling the loss of that tooth.
I go back to the DDS in 2 weeks to have two more cavities filled.
Geezaloo...wish me luck on that day.

It is a beautiful day today. Temperature is going to be 72.
Gonna take these grandyoungins of mine on a field trip
to the local department store which in this case is Walmart.
We went to Target on Wednesday to get prescriptions.
They got popcorn and juice boxes from the snack bar.
You'd have thought it was Christmas for them.
So damn excited to be eating stale popcorn.

Found bugs in every single box of cereal in the pantry.
Threw out 4 mostly full boxes. Shit.
At nearly $4.00 per box that really sucks.

The man has been overworked lately at his job.
Which makes him surely and rude at home.
Been trying to pray him through it.
Meaning I keep asking God to keep watch over him.
(In my head the prayer comes out like this-
Jesus..shut him up. I'm sick of listening to him complain.
Please help him find gratitude for something..ANYTHING
in his life that will help him to know You)
(( The fact that I complain about him is not lost on me))

As I type this my windows are open and I hear the birds.
The grand kids are watching cartoons
and eating bowls of cereal without bugs.
Yesterday we planted carrot and radish seeds in clay pots.
First thing this morning they checked to see if there was growth.

Last night I went shopping with my sister.
I found a cute new swim suit that doesn't make me look fat,
and it is comfortable at the same time.
And a new pair of jeans and a $7.00 pair of really cute sandals.
Shopping is sooo cathartic...yes??

In 2 weeks we are going on vacation to South Dakota.
It's been a long time since we've gone anywhere,
and we've never been west of the Mississippi River.
Well... once, 34 years ago, we drove to Dallas Texas
by way of Missouri and Oklahoma.
We drove threw the night so we didn't really see anything.

Are you bored yet?
This is the mundane stuff of my life.
And honestly?? I wouldn't trade it for anything.
(well, I could do without these damn painful teeth of mine)


Friday, June 12, 2015


I have a toothache.
Most likely an abcess in the molar my dentist just filled 2 weeks ago.
He told me the filling wouldn't last long.
It was a rather large cavity.
So I made the necessary arrangements to have it pulled today.
GOD! but I surely do hate teeth.
Aside from the fact that I eat with them on a daily basis,
My teeth have never been kind to me.

My mom calls them sugar teeth- they are prone to cavities.
Every filling eventually fails leading to a root canal.
Which in turn will fail, which leads to extractions.

To be truthful, I would need 4 dental implants to replace
the teeth I've lost to extractions.
I've already had 1 dental implant done which cost $5000.00!

How do they expect people to afford this??

I'm nervous and anxious for it to be over and done with.
I want the pain to stop but I hate the feeling of that
bloody gauze clenched between my gum and teeth
after the procedure is over.

Have you all figured out that I am never happy on this here blog?!
That I complain Way. Too. Much.???
Sorry friends.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for commenting.
I promise you that I am working on my positive attitude.


Saturday, June 6, 2015

Conversing with a 5 year old

How many sleeps til tomorrow?
Yay! Can I see your calendar?
What day is tomorrow?
No, I mean what day is tomorrow?
Tomorrow is tomorrow buddy.
But you just said tomorrow is Saturday.
It is.
But when is tomorrow?
What day is tomorrow?
Tomorrow is Saturday.
But last week you said Friday was tomorrow.
Tomorrow is always the day after today.
How many days are there?
What are they called?
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
But you didn't say tomorrow. Which day is tomorrow?

Monday, June 1, 2015

Lolly the Lamentor

Back in medieval times people were given strange names-
Like Pliney the Elder or Fiona the Fair or Sir Rodrick the Brave.
I've named myself Lolly the Lamentor.

Son-of-a-mother-inlaw but right now I surely feel like I have
quite a few reasons to lament.

I've got ants in my kitchen and weeds in my garden.
It has rained for 3 days and our basement is starting to collect water.

Our neighbors little boys won't stay the hell out of my garden
where I am growing 2 kinds of squash and 2 pine tree saplings.
I'm afraid those little tiny trees are going to be crushed.
There is a language barrier so they don't understand when I tell them to stay out.
To them I must look like the crazy mean plant lady.
I need to put up some fencing.

Last week my grown son and I lived thru a 3 day bout of gastric distress.
Stomach cramping and vomiting, loss of appetite and trips to the bathroom
that were distinctly unpleasant.

Today our girl Chihuahua has a pancreatitis flare-up
which means she's not eating and has bloody diarrhea.

Both grand kids developed high fevers mid-morning.
By noon my grandson had stomach cramps.
By 1:00 pm they were both fast asleep
due to their fevers and a dosing of Tylenol.
At 3:30 they were throwing up......

2 weeks ago, our girl dog got out the front door.
I caught her 3 feet from our busy street by pouncing on her.
Scraping up my elbow and my knee in the process.

3 days later, I was pushing my granddaughter on her bike
when I slipped on the loose gravel and fell on the same elbow and knee.

The day after that I opened the kitchen cupboard and 7 glasses
crashed down on me -1 hit me in the chin, 3 others hit that same sore arm
as I swung it up to protect the rest of my face.

Yesterday in church I found out that my church pastor is leaving and
I am heart broken.
This man is such a great speaker or preacher...whatever.
He is so honest and real and has brought me to tears on more than one occasion.
I truly don't know what I am going to do without him.

5 days ago my 31 year old daughter went in for an ultra-sound
for a mass near her ovaries. We are still waiting on results.
Hopefully no news is good news.

All I can say is Fuckity. (Thanks for the use of that word Birdie!)

Sorry for the profanity Lord...but I feel wrecked and tired and weary....

Guide Me into an Unclenched Moment  from Guerrillas of Grace
by: Ted Loder

Gentle me,
Holy One,
into an unclenched moment,
a deep breath,
a letting go of heavy expectancies,
of shriveling anxieties,
of dead certainties, that
softened by the silence,
surrounded by the light,
and open to the mystery,
I may be found by wholeness,
upheld by the unfathomable,
entranced by the simple,
and filled with the joy
that is You.