3/30
My husband got sick on Good Friday. I called an ambulance for him on Saturday because he was too weak to walk.
In the ER they did a chest x-ray and blood work to look for infection.
When they found nothing wrong in those test results the doctor decided to do a CT Scan of the chest and also a CT scan of the abdomen to rule out something more ominous.
Our eyes met, caught and held from where I was sitting across the room..his finding and looking into mine, mine into his.
We both swallowed at the same time. I held my breath for a fraction of a second too long.
Shit.
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3/31
My mom called while we were waiting for those test results to let me know that a family friend had passed away, a man we had affectionately called Uncle Bill.
Uncle Bill had been dating my Aunt Lori back in the Spring of 1969 when I first met him.
I thought he was so dreamy, and I fell in love with him as only a six year old child can.
Aunt Lori died that Autumn from an anaphylactic shock reaction to hairspray.
She had just graduated from beauty school.
She was 18 year old.
To say my Uncle Bill was devastated is an understatement.
The memory of him sitting in a chair with his head in his hands at her funeral wake is still burned into my memory 49 years later.
He stayed connected to our family and often visited my parents throughout the rest of my childhood. One Friday evening he brought over another girlfriend named Kathy. I was devastated. I had asked him in my 8 year old naivete to please wait for me, so that when I grew up him and I could get married.
He was the first person aside from my parents and family that I had loved.
He married Kathy and they lived one block over from where my husband and I live now.
I'd see him out walking by himself sometimes and other times I'd see him and my mother out walking her dog Murphy together.
He was a nice lovely man, and I broke down and cried in that ER cubicle while sitting across from my husband and on the phone with my mother, because the first man I had ever imagined that I loved had died.
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3/31
The scan results come back negative. They find nothing wrong. Must be a virus is what they tell us.
We are elated and head back home. My husband is sick with this virus for the remainder of the week. Unable to eat, muscle weakness and then he develops what him and I will refer to as a form of Dysentery. Maybe you have Cholera?
I joke with him. It isn't funny. J E S U S!!! wth?
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4/01
We had Easter at my nieces house. Her husband of 11 years walked out on her and their 3 kids last month saying he didn't love her anymore. She's wrecked and devastated too. She wanted to host the holiday family get together because she wanted to remember this house with happy memories.
How do I call myself a Christian when I want to kill that man for all of the pain he is causing her and those beautiful kids?
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4/04
My mother's dog Murphy had a tumor removed from his chest in February. The Vet gave him maybe 5 months to live. On Wednesday the same area on his chest started to bleed. The Vet bandaged him and advised her to keep an eye on it; to come back if it got worse.
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4/05
My grandson got hit in the eye with a kicked soccer ball on Thursday. The cornea sort of buckled and the ball actually took part of the cornea with it as it slid over his eye. My son works for an Opthamologist office and went with them to the ER. My grandson was referred to a Pediatric Opthamologist who saw him Friday, Saturday and even opened their office to see him on Sunday. The damage looked severe enough that they believed he might lose some of the vision in his eye. It made me cry to think of that perfect little boy having to go thru the rest of his life with blurred vision. I just wanted life to go back to normal. I wanted bad things to stop happening. I mean how much worse could things get?
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4/06
My son-in-law got fired from his part time job as a medic on Friday. He guesstimated a time on an ambulance report instead of calling dispatch for the actual time. It's considered altering a medical record and it's criminal in nature. He and my daughter are both devastated. It's humiliating and embarrassing and awful. It's also a huge loss of income for them. My daughter has been crying for days. She needs to find herself some anxiety meds. Pronto. I never was an advocate for medicating problems of this nature but, good lord...this girl needs to get a grip. She is unable to function at this moment and my heart breaks for her. What do you say to help a person in this situation?
To be honest, I feel myself at the breaking point and I don't feel like I have much advice to offer her.
I am living on a razor's edge myself.
Could things get any worse?
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4/07
It got worse. Murphy went over that mother fucking
Rainbow Bridge everybody likes to call it on Saturday at 1:00pm while bleeding out on the Vet's dirty floor.
I was in the middle of the Target toy aisle buying a birthday present for my grandson when my sister called to say they were at the Vet. I bawled when she told me. Bawled. That poor dog. My poor devastated mother.
Do I dare type out the word devastated one more time?
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4/09
My daughter made and appt with her doctor and got anxiety meds. Only the doctor made a mistake on the prescriptions (instead of Xanax and Klonopin the dr wrote 2 prescriptions for Klonopin which made the pharmacy suspicious) and when my daughter went to the pharmacy they told her that she had to wait an additional 24 hours to receive her meds and that they would hold on to her prescriptions until they heard back from the doctor. When she went back to the pharmacy the next day, they claimed that they no longer had her prescription and that she would need to call her doctor to get another one. Now most of you ladies reading this blog know that NO DOCTOR IS GOING TO WRITE OUT ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION FOR A 30 DAY SUPPLY OF KLONOPIN after they just wrote you one. The pharmacy was adamant about not having her written scripts so my daughter demanded that they review the store tapes (they record all transactions at the pharmacy). She was minutes away from calling the police because someone at that pharmacy had stolen her written scripts, when they miraculously reappeared. The pharmacist claimed they had been filed in the wrong place.
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4/09
My grandsons eye is back to normal with no residual damage. The bright sunlight hurts a bit but that is normal after an eye injury. I have thanked Jesus for favors granted.
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4/11
Can I tell you something? My husband and I are going on vacation to Florida at the end of next week. and to be honest, I'm not so sure I will want to come back.
This vacation is the first we will have taken to Florida in 7 years and also we have never been to Florida by ourselves. We've always had children or family members in tow.
I told him we are going to sit on the beach and do nothing. NOTHING. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
I cannot wait to listen to the waves and the seagulls and to feel the warm sun on my face.
This vacation is well deserved, I will tell you that. I'm not so sure I can take one more piece of bad news.
Thanks for reading,
Love, Lolly
