Sheltering in place

It's the waiting that is the hardest I think.
It gives my mind too much time to dwell on things.
Like right now I am waiting for this black plague to roll in to our town.
Waiting for it to snuff out the light and the life that surrounds me.
Should I believe what they are saying on TV?
Do I believe the reports from the CDC? Or HHS?
Is it black? Is it white?
Are we doomed? With no chance of being saved?
Our grocery store shelves have been emptied. Refilled then emptied again.
But I will admit...I am too afraid to go to the store anymore anyway.
I walk the dog around the block twice a day.
Other than that I stay inside my house.
I am too anxious to read. Too filled with worry to deep clean my house.
I find myself wanting to nap, a lot.
I ask myself if this is what I want to be doing with my time.
If this is the last two weeks I have on this Earth, do I want to spend them napping? And my answer is "I've got nothing better to do".
I lie on the floor in Yoga Corpse pose and stretch my cramped muscles.
I listen to ocean waves through Youtube on my laptop.
I drink coffee all morning and tea all afternoon. My appetite is waning.
Laundry gets done and dinner gets cooked and then after dinner the dishes get done too.
I sleep ok for the most part. Some nights are better than others.
I miss my grandkids something fierce. It's like a physical ache.
They are done with school for the year and have been at home with their parents.
I miss my boy who is way up there in snowy Minnesota.
He doesn't feel well and I am afraid for him not having his mama.
He's coughing and achy and a bit nervous himself.
Today my 11 year old grandson woke up with a fever.

I want to wake up from this nightmare. I want life to be normal again. I want to not be afraid.
I want to cry and laugh and listen to the birds in the trees. I want to go to the library and browse.
I want people to stop with the toilet paper. I want to put more creamer in my coffee than I should.
I wanted to buy a pot of Daffodils the last time I was at the store but I didn't.
Now I wish I had.

Him and I, we have each other. We have our little dog. We have supplies. We are not sick.
We have Facetime so we can see and talk to the grandkids and our far away grown up boy.
Jesus is real quiet. I like to imagine that He is helping out other parts of the world at the moment.
I keep praying though. I keep praying for all of us. Stay well and safe my friends.
Thanks for Reading,
Love, Lolly