Thursday, May 10, 2012

Angry and Sad

My son is angry and sad because his girlfriend wants to break up with him again. Yes, again. This is the third time she has ended it between them and I told him that the "third time's the charm". I'm trying to keep my opinion of what I think about  her to myself. She has hurt his heart many many times.  I do not believe that she is the girl for him. He on the other hand would like to propose to her. As in propose marriage. My daughters, his sisters, do not like this girl. My husband really doesn't like her either. I tolerate her, mainly because she doesn't seem to be that bad of a person, just a little chilly in the emotions department. Plus, I know that he loves her, so I give her some leeway. So now what do I do? He is hurting. Down in the dumps and feeling blue cuz his girl left him again. AGAIN! Pffft! I know what I want to do. I want to open my mouth and let her have it. I want to yell at him that enough is enough! I want to dive head first into his personal business and "save" him from hurting and crying and having to go thru the pain of another break up with this girl. Thank you God for my Alanon program!  My cute lil codependent self knows better now. I know how to keep my mouth shut, and to keep my nose outta his business. It is hard though. I really, really, really want to save him from the agony of heartbreak. I know that I really badly want to tell him what I think about her and her treatment of him and I want to tell her to go to...... well, let's just say someplace really warm. What I really and truly do know is that I can love him and support him by listening to him, hugging him as he cries and just being there for him in a way that helps him (and not me) feel better. I am angry at her and sad for him. But I am also angry at him for letting this girl break up with him 3 F-ing times, and still wanting to get back together with her. Enough already my boy. Let go. Let go of her and let go of your pain. Let go of your plans and your dreams that you had with this girl. Let yourself cry and rant and rail at the injustice of it all and then give yourself the time to let yourself heal. But Just. Let. Go.
Easier said than done, I know. It's so hard to watch him go thru shit like this. It's hard to see a nearly grown man cry over his broken heart. In a perfect world, I would fix it for him so he wouldn't have to go through this and hurt so much. But this Momma loves her boy. So I will let him learn and live through his own life lessons, even the lessons that are painful.  Here is a quote for my beautiful boy who I love beyond all reason..... "The only way out is through."~Robert Frost
One day he'll realize that the blessings in life come from learning those painful life lessons.

1 comment:

  1. I think I would start asking him *why* he is so attached to her? What does he see in her that the rest of you don't. Not in a challenging way...but in a "let him share his insights with you" way. Maybe he truly does see something loveable in her. OR, maybe your questions will lead him to a place of self reflection as to why he keeps hanging in there with a girl who isn't nice to him.