Thursday, July 18, 2013

Losing my cool

I'm hot
I'm aggravated
Outside the heat index is 107
I need to water the plants
and as I spray the Hostas a large moth flies out and scares the crap outta me
(I think it's a bee at the time)
causing me to yank the hose
which gets caught on a branch
which makes the wet and dirty hose
drag across my clean shirt
leaving a trail of mud behind.
I get in the shower
drop the soap
nick myself shaving.
When I'm done I put on my terry cloth robe
which immediately causes me to start sweltering
even tho my husband has the AC set at 69!!
Digging through my drawers
looking for another cool summer shirt
I realize that I am digging through
that no longer fit me.
I discard shirt after shirt after shirt
useless, too tight, too short, too whatever
My hair is wet and aggravating the shit outta me
I don't like the way it is cut.
Wish that I could put it up in a pony tail.
Instead it clings to my face and neck
trying to strangle me
The dogs want to go out and they keep following me around
scratching at my feet or at door frames
reminding me that they want to go out.
I can feel them under my feet as I lurch from room to room
in that mother F-ing sweltering terry cloth robe
with a stinging cut on my leg
and hair sticking to my face and neck
too fat to wear last years Summer tank tops.
I just want to get dressed.
I go to sit down at my desk, light my candle
(which I like to think represents Gods light and presence)
and I find my son watching movies in the living room.
His allergies are acting up this morning
so all I hear is sneezing and coughing and nose blowing
and it feels like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I start reading my devotionals and my son starts to talk.
Telling me about the 2 movies he is watching simultaneously.
I move to my bedroom and find that the oscillating fan is squeaking
at a decibel only my dogs can a high pitched whine.
To turn it off would be akin to placing my bedroom in an oven
since the room faces the Sun,
so AC or no AC, the temp ramps up pretty quickly without air movement.
Leaving my squeaky, hot bedroom on my way to the kitchen, I step in a puddle of pee.
I haven't let the dogs out yet.
Guess I don't have to anymore.
Not their fault. They tried to tell me. Repeatedly.
In the kitchen, I think that I will make an iced coffee.
Cool myself down a bit.
Open the fridge. No ice.
Husband took both bags with him when he went fishing yesterday.
Defeated. Fail. Exasperated. What other words fit here?
Believe you me!!!  I am desperately trying to find the lesson in all of this.
Patience maybe??
Read devotionals and light my God's presence candle before I start my day?
Get a new lighter weight robe?
Lose 15 pounds?
Take the dogs out before I shower?
Jesus, if you're listening to this rant of mine I beg you to forgive me.
I know how truly blessed I am.
So here's my prayer-
Thank you for waking me up on this wonderful warm Summer day.
Thank you for the beautiful flowers that are thriving in my garden.
Thank you for my house and indoor showers and terry cloth robes.
Thank you for my dogs, and paper towels and large sized tank tops.
Thank you for my sneezing and coughing and nose blowing boy.
Thank you for the husband that took 2 whole bags of ice to go fishing.
Thank you for Iced Tea instead of Iced Coffee.
Thank you for letting me rant  and rave.
Thank you for loving me anyway.

This is perfect- click to read

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