Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Time flies by

Has it really been a month since I last posted??
Time is flying by in my world.
My grandson has 7 days left of Kindergarten.
That went by way too fast.
My husband left for his annual fishing trip 5 days ago.
He'll be back tomorrow....that also went by too fast, for both of us.
He'd like to stay up there in his Northwoods for a few more days,
And I have been enjoying having the bed all to myself.

This time last year I posted when he left for his trip but it was a much different story.
Last year he left full of anger and stress and anxiety which manifests itself in meanness.
I was glad to see him go.
This year, a week before his trip, I told him that his mania in regards to gearing up for these trips is painful and hurtful to me.
That HE is hurtful and mean to me when he's stressed out and frustrated.
I asked him if he could find another way to get his boat and gear prepped and packed without wrecking me in the process.
I reminded him of the slamming of the door in my face from last year.
He replied  "That was two years ago."
I replied  "No...That was last year."
"Oh"  was all he said.

(Now I feel I must tell you that right at that very moment, that moment when he said it was two years ago, my brain started to smoke. I felt righteous anger and I felt my innards wanting to start on fire. I swear I felt my brain burst into flame. Let me tell you why.  Normally when he's frustrated and rushing and in a manic and a panic trying to get things done he becomes short tempered and snarky and forgetful. I know this about him. It's the way he is. But what he did last year was cruel and unusually mean. I thought it was something he didn't remember doing during a manic episode.
But for him to remember and never attempt to apologize....boy let me tell you. I was stunned.)

Anyway...A week before his trip he started getting things ready.
He packed a little bit of his gear each night. Shopped for supplies one night, rolled and cut rope the next. The night after that he packed his duffel bags, then started loading everything into the car.
Got the boat and the car all gassed up the night before he left.
So on the day of his departure all he had to do was shower, grab his coffee and go.

He left at 7:00am instead of the ungodly hour of 4:00am and I cried as he pulled away.
But this time I wasn't crying because he had hurt me.
This time I was crying because he was going to be gone for 6 days and I was gonna miss him.

Well the six days flew by. I can't believe he's already on his way home!
I worked in my garden a lot while he was gone. Got the patio all ready for Summer. Cleaned out the screened porch. Did 5 loads of laundry on Monday. Went to a memorial service for a friend on Sunday. Attended my second cousins baby shower on Saturday. Went to dinner with my sister on Friday. Went to the local high school on Thursday night and witnessed my niece accept her scholarship to college. Whew! It feels like I've been busy.
Which is a good thing.
It made the time fly by quicker.

I'm so glad that he used my suggestions about packing for this trip.
I'm happy thinking about him coming home instead of the dread I faced last year.

Communication works...Who knew?!?


  1. Victories are so sweet. Well done my friend!

    1. Aww, Thanks friend. It DOES feel like a victory!

  2. This is quite an inspiration story. My husband has a way of cutting me down and leaving me sobbing and broken. I wonder if there are words I could use that could make things better? God knows I have tried so many different things. (Insanity.) I am proud of both you and your husband.

  3. Our marriage has always been a briar patch. As long as we don't move everything's is ok. It's when one of us gets poked or irritated or hurt that we start to wound each other. I asked him recently (in regards to being married) "Aren't you tired of it being so damn hard all the time?" He responded with a yes. So we've been working on it lately. But it is still so damn hard at times.

  4. What a beautiful contrast from last year to this year. Reading your post reminded me of a tv show I landed on unintentionally last year, called Oprah -- Master Class. Diane Sawyer was the person highlighted, and you can't hear anyone interview her -- just a head shot of her talking about her life. I was interested right away because she seemed to be so grateful and curious and humble about life. Toward the end, she shared what she had found to be profound wisdom regarding her marriage (her husband has passed away now) and other relationships. She said, "Just make the request." Instead of fretting or getting angry or accusing, "Just make the request." For example, "Can you do _________ to help us work through this hard thing together?" She was much more eloquent than I am here, but it was very inspiring. It seems like you made the request and your husband responded. I wish I had put this into practice as a young woman. Have a good week Lolly! xoxo