Friday, January 27, 2017

Start with why

At the beginning of January I started a new 30 day gratitude challenge.
The instructions were as follows-

Why are you here? Why are you doing this?  Why even bother with a 30 day gratitude challenge?
Set a timer and write for five minutes and really reflect on why. Is it your family? Is it to pay it forward somehow? Is it because you've been in an ungrateful Eeyore-like funk?

My 5 minute written answer was this-

Because I'm sad and lonely and tired. Because I yell too much. Because I just want the house to be quiet, but when it is the silence is deafening.
Because I drink too much wine on bad days and I eat the wrong kinds of food, and I don't like my weight or my graying hair or my dry skin.
Because I used to see God everywhere and it made me cry happy tears. It was wonderful and somehow it all turned ordinary again. I want the WOW back.
Because I'm filled with anxiety and I don't know why. Because it's been a nerve wracking 6 months and I feel exhausted and stretched too thin. Because I know God is out there and I've forgotten somehow how to find Him. Because my gratitude list used to be full to bursting and lately I've struggled to find anything besides the mundane things to be grateful for. 

It's been said that writing can make one well. But I feel like I'm in a word desert. Dried up.
I'm not sure if I need to take a break or push myself to write more.
I keep pinning new and different types of journal prompts on my Pinterest account and then I never look at them again. Except for this one. 

This one caught my eye and this one made me feel like I had an AHA moment.
I feel like I need to push myself to see if writing more will pull me out of this ungrateful slump I'm in.
So starting February 1st  I'm going to try doing this 30 day writing challenge here on my blog.
No pressure...if I don't write for a day, it's no big whoop. 
But I'd like try and stick with it.
Wish me luck faithful readers. And don't forget to check back in with my blog on February 1st to see what 10 things make me really happy.
As always, Thanks for reading!
Love, Lolly

1 comment:

  1. I'm in my little iPod and can't read the writing but will check back later.
    As for finding God, not that I'm one to tell anyone, sometimes I just need to be still. Be silent. Breathe. Wait.