Pardon my dust. I'm under deconstruction.

 So I sorta checked out for the last year.

I've been on FB and Instagram daily but I don't post about much

except for Instagram where I post pics once in a while.

It might be a shock to you to find out that I've been deconstructing my faith.

And it's the strangest damn thing.

In the past I've seen Jesus with my own eyes.

I've heard the sound of his voice with my own ears.

I have physically felt his presence in the ether around me.

Don't get me wrong...I still believe in Him but I don't see him or hear him or feel him anymore.

So I quit going to my church during the pandemic and I feel no sense of loss or remorse.

I am trying to find a connection to something spiritual through nature and meditation.

When I hear birds I stop in my tracks and look up for the source.

They way they chirp and twitter and sing makes me feel holy. 

So does the sound of the wind soughing through the leaves.

I want it to rain all the time because the scent of rain can drop me to my knees with it's heavenly smell.

Outside my window I can see the pop of spring green as the leaves bud on the trees.

Our neighbors have a bed of tulips in rainbow colors that thrills me every time I see it.

My Hostas and Bee Balm and Day Lily's are starting to grow and I can smell life in the dirt outside my front door. 

Winter is my favorite season but Spring is a close second.

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In my family and extended family all of us adults have been inoculated against Covid-19.

I still don't go anywhere and the grand kids are still doing remote learning here in my living room.

We still order groceries on line and do curbside pick up when we can. 

Amazon works well for us fortunately as we order a lot of things on-line.

Honestly I'm not sure if I want that part of life, shopping in person, to ever go back to normal.

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 My husband had spine surgery back in March and then developed complications to his diabetes after that. It's been a long road to recovery and he's not done yet. We need to change the way he eats and check his sugars more.  We are taking it one day and one meal at a time.

He still has a lot of PT to complete for his spine rehab but at least he can go back to work.

I rather enjoyed having him home for the last two months which surprises me.

We mellowed as we've gotten older and I've noticed during the length of his confinement that he's not such a rotten patient and I'm not such a bad nurse after all.

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I'm not sure when I'll post again. I'm trying to figure out if blogging is still my thing or not.

I will say that I miss reading your blogs and I miss my little tiny on-line community of friends.

As always,

Thanks for reading,

Love, Lolly