Florida 2022

 I went to Florida without you. Well...technically I brought you with but....

Matt drove too fast and I was worried the whole time. 

When you drove us, I felt a sense of trust and safety.

The ocean wasn't the same without you sitting beside me.

Nobody fished. Nobody sat in the sand with me at 6:00 in the am drinking coffee and watching the birds.

Nobody ate Crab legs until they were ill. Nobody wanted me to make chicken salad.

Alcohol helped me sleep alone in a strange bed in a strange condo. 

Kena was a trooper and tolerated the entire 17 hour drive down.

I was worried about her but she did just fine.

We left pieces of you there, in the waves, like you asked us to.

It was harder than I thought it would be...setting you adrift.

I miss your strength, I miss your touch, I miss the sound of your voice.

I hate that you aren't here with us anymore.

I hate cancer and I hate what it did to you,

And I hate how sad I am that you aren't here with me.

The dog hogs the bed and I long to hear you snore.

I pay the bills and I changed cable companies.

I wash my clothes and sometimes I wear yours.

There are 4 pork roasts in the freezer and I eat toast every day for dinner.

Nothing is the same and every thing is different.

I want to talk to you so bad... it feels like an ache.

Grief is the loneliest planet to live on.