Late March 2023

 there are days when i am so lonely that i simply dont know what to do.

I miss him.

He called me Beautiful.

As in... Morning Beautiful. Thanks Beautiful. See ya later Beautiful.

When I look in the mirror I definitely don't see beautiful.

It is then that I realize that I will never again be "Beautiful" to anyone.

Grief has rendered me ugly, lonely and sad. It is a hard realization.

Yet it is the truth.

Too much wine, not enough water, extra helpings of comfort food...

Crying jags late at night, long naps during the day, all combine to

keep me from moving on to the next phase, whatever that is.

I am heading into year two of grieving his passing.

Some days are easier than others. Not sure why.

But I just wish I could to talk to him.

And it's a craving that cannot ever be fulfilled.

I wish someone would call me beautiful, again.