July 2023

I gave the riding lawn mower away. It hadn't worked in over two years.

I cried when the guy came to load it on to his trailer to take it home.

He texted me later to say that he had got it running again. 

Then he thanked me for the gift of the mower. 

Him and his wife are in dire straits and I felt good about giving it to them.

Next to go is the boat. Me and the kids are getting it ready to sell. 

After that is the RV or rather the Toy Hauler. I've already cleaned it out.

The Harley stays for now, but I can imagine myself selling that in a few years too.

I've already gotten it appraised but I am just not ready to sell it yet.

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His birthday is coming up. I don't remember what I/we did last year.

Grief causes me to have a lot of empty memories.

This year he would have turned 60...a mile stone year for most people.

Me and our grown kids, their spouses and our 4 grandkids are planning on going 

to the Sprint car races in Wilmot Wisconsin.

It was one of our favorite things to do as a family during the summer.

It seems appropriate to celebrate his 60th even tho he is not here.

We'll all eat a brat and have a beer in his honor.

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Full moons make me cry like a banshee.

This has never happened to me before. 

But since his passing I have ugly cried at each full moon.

It's weird...I feel a "pull"  but all it does is makes me cry...really hard.

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I still dream about him quite often. 

I wish that I could smell him or kiss him or hold his hand.

I wish that him and I could go on a Harley ride.

I wish we could sit around a campfire and watch natures TV.

I wish I could hear his voice.

Missing him has not gotten easier...yet.

I wonder if it ever will.