2011

It's been a long year. And it's been a year with a lot of changes for me. Learning to detatch from my significant other and what is essentially his business has not been easy for me, but it has been worth it. I feel less tension in our house, more at ease in my own skin too. I have to wonder if this is from working the steps or my ever increasing faith in God. Who cares!! Either way I'll take it and either way I win. I am sooo grateful for the 12 steps and what they are teaching me. I am also grateful that I have God in my life. They are literally saving my sanity; one meeting, one day, one prayer at a time. I truly feel so blessed! I have good friends, my family, my health, my bible study, my 12 step meeting....my gratitude list could go on and on. Everyday I find something new to be grateful and thankful for. Every single day I realize that I have been learning lessons all along and that I have been given blessings galore. So here we go.......out with the old and in with the new. Goodbye 2011.............Hello 2012!!   I cannot wait to see what the new year has in store for me!

Break up

A married couple that I have known for 25 years has decided to call it quits. Or rather she has decided to call it quits. He is ruined by her decision. Angry, hurting, hateful....it is very painful to watch, even from a distance, as their marriage goes up in flames. Many times my husband and I have been to that threshold, where I didn't think I could handle one more day of living with him, when even the fact that he was breathing was an irritant. I am grateful that we never took that leap. We have always been able to work it out somehow, someway. I suppose for those who decide they can no longer tolerate each other that the best thing to do would be to separate. I just wish that sides didn't have to be taken, and name calling and mud slinging weren't part of the process of breaking up. You realize that everyone involved is hurting, from friends to family. Wish there was a way for all of us to be more sympathetic...to him and to her. Change is painful but sometimes it is necessary. Think I'll go say a prayer for everyone involved in this mess. A prayer to God for healing people and attitudes. And add a prayer for myself that HE has had a hand in keeping my marriage together. Thank you Lord for favors granted.

Endings

An aquaintence of mine commited suicide this morning. He had just been released from detox a week ago. I cannot explain to you the sadness that I feel at his passing. For a life lost, for a man to have felt so sad and helpless that he saw no other way out. My heart bleeds for the family he left behind, for the friends who didn't know how to help him. He was such a nice guy. I will miss seeing him. Trying to figure out if this is  a lesson for me or a blessing for him. My lesson??  Be kind to everyone. People hurt deep down inside even people who you think are handling life ok. A blessing for him??  He no longer hurts....and he is finally home.