Auld Lang Syne

There comes a time when one must get up out of her chair and do something.

Should I join the resistance? Or just watch the whole world burn outside my window?

Should I pray or Meditate? Or have I done enough if I just get my kitchen cleaned?

Will today be the day that I start my new Yoga practice that I told myself I'd start in January?

Or did I already overexert myself by bending over to put on my socks?

Maybe I should pick up a book and read something.   

(my god! When did I stop reading???)

My gratitude list took a huge hit these past four years. I have to force myself to write in it.

Sunrise? yeah, yeah, it's pretty and all, but....meh. How many sunrises can one be grateful for?

My mind cannot settle on one thing. It is hard to be still and know. 

Jesus, who saved me so profoundly 10 years ago, is silent in my mind and in this world.

I miss Him with a passion that I cannot quite name. 

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Living in todays society as an Empath is becoming harder to bare.

I am isolated but truly that is ok with me. I am not lonely.

There is a lot that is broken in my world, and in the world at large.

The dog injured her good eye and has been to the Vet twice for treatment and care.

My husband has had a herniated disc in his T-spine since October. The pain is driving him mad.

The dryer and oven are not working and both need to be replaced.

Covid is raging across the land and I am fearful for my family members.

There is a lunatic in charge of the United States and he needs to be removed....NOW.

I've gained more weight than I care to talk about and I haven't cut my hair in a year, so, you know, I'm looking pretty fly right now.

I miss the sound of the ocean, riding our Harley on country back roads, and camping in our RV.

I miss the smell of my grandsons head and I miss pinching the tiny little butt of my granddaughter as she runs up the stairs squealing with glee.

I miss the smell of the library and strolling the aisles looking for a good book to read.

Gawd! I miss reading!!!  I hope that desire comes back soon.

I miss walking the grandkids to school, family get togethers, and using my dryer.

And I miss normal, whatever that is.

*****************************

Wanna know what I don't miss?

Grocery shopping. The humidity of Summer. Small talk at after school pick up. Weeding gardens. Old friends that we used to hang out with who are now avid supporters of that nincompoop in DC.

Hmmm...maybe I don't miss normal that much after all.

Thanks for reading,

Love, Lolly

On a Friday in October

The dog has an appt. to go to the Vet. Her left eye is watery and squinty. She is blind in her right eye.

The Vet gave me an "Emergency Appt" slot at 6:15 and will charge me $100.00 in addition to the cost of the OV, eye exam and probable prescription.

They told me to bring a book, that I must remain in my car and I must remain in their parking lot and that I would be waiting in excess of one hour.

I feel their Emergency Appt fee is excessive and also I feel like they are penalizing me for my dogs emergency. It feels wrong to me. And I'm a bit salty about it.

******

There is a dead mouse somewhere in my basement and the smell is slowly taking over my house. Ack!

******

My 7 yo granddaughter pee'd her pants twice today. The second time she ran past me the odor of foul urine almost knocked me backwards.

She has an emergency appt at the pediatrician's office today at 3:00.

FYI- They aren't charging an extra $100.00 for that appt.

******

Neither one of us slept very well last night. Today we feel a bit grouchy. Early to bed tonight (I hope).

******

We haha HE winterized our RV last night while I watched Joe Bidens Town Hall on TV.

Please Dear God...if YOU are up there in Your heaven...PLEASE. Please save us from this nightmare.

I just don't know what I am gonna do if Biden/Harris don't win November 3rd. Seriously. It scares me.

Birdie? Make up the spare bedroom. Oh wait. I forgot. Canada is closed to the USA.

Well shit.

*******

I also found out today that my grandson hates the smell of chocolate. 

He likes the taste, but hates the smell. He said that he holds his breath the whole time he eats it.

Uh...that's funny I thought to myself.  I eat chocolate the exact same way.

Oh. Wait. No I don't. I inhale it. That's not the same at all.  LOL

******

I think that's it for now.

Love, Lolly

Morning Meditation

 Every morning I light a candle and turn on my salt lamp...

Open one living room window no matter the weather...

Turn on Spotify and listen to Yiruma or Helen Jane Long...

Drink my coffee with way too much creamer...

Write down 3 things I am grateful for...

Read my devotional...

And remember to breathe...just breathe.

Love, Lolly

Sweet September

The temperature outside this morning was a lovely 66 degrees.

I had a scheduled grocery pick up at Walmart for 7:00am. 

The grandkids would be here at 7:30am  for E-Learning.

I dressed myself in a T-shirt and yoga pants and headed out the door.

It wasn't until I was driving that I realized the humidtiy outside was 97 %.

Gah!!!!

Welcome to my version of pergatory....September and it's humidity level.

September and it's cobalt blue skies, yellow leaved trees, lower temperatures,

And humidity levels that'll kill me one day.

September with its apple orchards and sunflowers and first days of school,

And it's humidity levels that render me useless.

September...my birthday month, cheerful Mums on porches, Labor Day picnics,

And it's humidity level that ruins my attitude and my outlook on life.

Not really but....oh who am I kidding! Yes it does.

I've got stuff to say, nothing earth shattering 

but I feel like my voice is coming back.

As soon as I can peel my hot sweaty self off of this couch, I'll be back.

Love, Lolly

Look and see

• The crystal blue/clear color of pool water
• The smell of chlorine and sunblock on skin
• Green iridescent Hummingbirds feeding on my red Bee Balm
• White puffy clouds floating overhead as I laze in my sister's pool
• The sound of a lawn mower and the smell of freshly cut grass
• The hilarity and laughter of happy grandchildren
• McDonald's Happy Meals for lunch with extra fries and apple slices
• A bright yellow Finch with a coal black stripe on it's tail feathers
• Rain pouring so hard it obscures the houses across the street
• White Chocolate Ice cream with a Raspberry Swirl
• The lime green color of leaves in direct sunshine
• The sticky burning hot acrid smell of fresh tar being put down
• Puddles on the porch and the scent of rain still in the air at dawn
• Romaine lettuce, Parmesan cheese and croutons for Caesar Salad
• Beach towels dried with wool balls scented with lavender & lemon e.o.
• Cool and creamy Caramel Macchiato coffee creamer in my refrigerator
• Homemade Bread & Butter pickles brining in a quart size Mason jar
• Black storm clouds moving in with flashing lightning and thunder
• Answered prayer and favors granted...even tho Jesus is still as silent as stone.

Love, Lolly

 

Got no complaint

None of my jeans fit. Not one pair.
I ordered the next size up last week.
When they got here I raced to try them on.
I waffled between elation THEY FIT! and despair THEY FIT!

Guess I shouldn't have eaten that whole package of cinnamon rolls myself.
(They were so damn good)
And also that bakery box full of mini-brownie bites that I bought for the grandkids
 and then never delivered to them. (They had chocolate chips in them!)
And 4 vanilla Oreo cookies every night after dinner dipped in a cold glass of milk.
And an occasional piece of Ghiardelli Chocolate Square with caramel inside.

I am aware that a certain percentage of the population is hungry.
I'm not hungry, I'm just bored. And lazy. And gettin' kinda chubby.
I haven't been inside a grocery store since March 20th. I grocery shop on-line now. Do you?
I really like it although the produce I get is just a smidgeon subpar sometimes.
I grew tomato plants from actual seeds and transplanted them outside in my garden.
It has rained 8 inches since then...........so, uh, yeah, no more tomato plants.
But my flower garden looks like a big green jungle. The blooms are huge and lush.

I haven't gotten a pedicure since last year...oh boo-hoo.  Poor me, right?
I gave one to myself today. And now I know why I pay someone else do my pedicures.
What a disaster!

I haven't gotten my hair cut since February. But I will NOT attempt to do that by myself.
I did buy a tiny little hair piece on line called a Messy Bun. I adore it!
My page boy hair style has grown out so I put my hair into an unfortunate tiny pony tail every day.
After I attach my little Messy Bun, my hair looks like I have it up in a bun. I love this thing!

I am a privileged white woman who can order anything I want on line,
from groceries to jeans in a bigger size, to Pulse Ox Meters (just in case) and have it delivered to my home in under 7 days using Amazon Prime and Instacart.
I don't say that with any sort of pride though. I want you all to know that I am aware of how privileged my life is.

I'm not complaining. I ain't. But I am awful lonely.
How are you all handling the loneliness of this pandemic?

Thanks for reading,
Love, Lolly

My life in Quarantine

It's rainy and cool outside today.
The spring grass is stunning to look at...so vibrant and fresh and green!
The perennials are starting to grow back in the garden.
I've got Coneflower, Bee Balm, Phlox, Tiger Lilies, Hostas and Lily of the Valley.
Black-Eyed Susan's, Cranebill's, Periwinkle, a Japanese Fern and Salvias.
The Forget-Me-Not's that I replant every. single, year. never do grow back.
There are purple violets all over the yard and Dandelions too.
The neighbors have a lovely yellow Forsythia bush that creeps through the back fence we share.
Birds are making nests and singing!!! Oh my, the singing that I hear!
I filled the bird feeders with the last of the birdseed and then watched as the
Squirrels and Chipmunks emptied them. Their antics made me laugh.
But now I'm out of birdseed and I ain't going to the store for more.

We are fine, all of us. We are fine and healthy and separated.
Quarantined away from each other, if you will.

We get our groceries delivered or we order them and then pick them up curbside.
They sit in the mudroom until we wipe them all down with a bleach solution
and then we put them away.
Him and I have painted the bathroom and the living room.
The mud room is next followed by the TV room.
I've cleaned out the closets and the drawers and the cabinets.
Yesterday I gave the dog a bath.
Want to know what I haven't done?
Read. Books. I can't read anymore.
I've not been able to concentrate on or read a book since January.
Books used to be my oxygen. Now oxygen is my oxygen.
I practice deep breathing exercises daily.
Teaching myself to do a little bit of Yoga every day.
Meditation is more my forte.
But that doesn't get the blood moving and my body is starting to stiffen and hurt.*
Ten push-ups a day, a couple of Warrior poses, and I can plank for 3 whole seconds...😁

I need to reduce my calories. I'm not talking about dieting but I guess I should.
I mean, can I ask you about eating cookies? Like how many cookies is too many?
Whatever number you say I've eaten that many and more.
On my latest grocery order I requested a Key Lime Pie.
He hates Key Lime Pie! What am I gonna do with a whole Key Lime Pie?
Eat it, that's what.
Guess I DO need to talk to myself about dieting. Sheesh.

I miss seeing and hugging my grandkids. It's an actual physical ache not being able to hug them.
I miss going to the library for books.
I miss picking out my own fruits and vegetables from the grocery store.
I miss school drop off and pick up.
I miss that feeling of accomplishment; of getting my do-to list done.
*I miss my Chiropractor!!
(I called him Magic Mike cuz he kept my body feeling like a million bucks).

What is getting you through all this? What is saving your life right now?

My answer is coffee, Instagram, him and I having each other to talk to,
being able to sleep next to each other and being with our dog Kena.

Miss you ladies,
Thanks for reading,
Love, Lolly