Wednesday, January 7, 2015

an addendum to 12/31

I've been so lost in my own little world whilst Junie lay dying.
I hadn't been reading any of my daily devotionals,
which is telling enough...why hadn't I turned to the comfort of my God?
Normally I read between 3, 4 or 5 different devotionals daily.
Call it early mourning,  depression, a blue funk ....whatever...
I think it was knowing that the inevitable was coming at me and quickly.
And I was wallowing in the misery of it.
I let myself be blinded by the darkness of what was happening.

Monday 12/29 we realized that a Vet visit was necessary.
We had wanted our beautiful boy to die at home on his own.
Heart failure is what we thought it was.
Our other cat Baby had died of heart failure at home.
She was only sick for 1 day.
Something in me made me think that Junie must be suffering.
He'd been sick for two full weeks.

But we wanted him to die at home we told ourselves.
We thought it was better than putting him to sleep.
We didn't want to traumatize him with a trip to the Vet.
We didn't want euthanasia or cremation for our boy.
We thought waiting was the right thing to do.

God intervenes sometimes and tells us we must do otherwise.

Junie ended up having lung cancer. And he was struggling to breathe.
Our Vet suggested that  we consider euthanasia as a gift to our boy.
And so the decision was made.
And I've been wallowing in the grief of it all since then.


Today I backtracked and decided to start reading  the devotionals I had missed.
From Moments of Peace in the Presence of God dated 12/29-
There's a pride problem whenever you imagine that you know better than God does.
You pray and tell God your plans and how you would like everything to fall into place.
But God says no and it frustrates you. 
Humble yourself and acknowledge that He is the One in control.
Forgive me Lord. Teach me to humbly accept your will. Amen

And here's the Guidepost's devotional reading for 12/29-
So teach us to number our days. 
That we may present to You a heart of wisdom-Psalm 90:12

And the second verse from that same day was this-
Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, 
an old man and satisfied with life-Genesis 25:8

This was the reading for Tuesday 12/30 from Guidepost's
I go to prepare a place for you John 14:2

This is the second reading from that day-
But we are citizens of heaven. And we can hardly wait for a Savior from there. He is the Lord Jesus Christ. He has the power to bring everything under his control. By his power he will change our earthly bodies. They will become like his glorious body.  Philippians 3:20-21

And there's more!

Here's the devotion from The Shack:Reflections dated 12/31-
This is not a revolution that will overthrow anything, or if it does, it will do so in ways we could never contrive in advance. Instead it will be the quiet daily powers of dying and serving and loving and laughing, of simple tenderness and unseen kindness, because if anything matters, then everything matters.

And here's an excerpt from Jesus calling for 12/31-
"As this year draws to a close, receive My peace.
....Thank Me for My peaceful presence, regardless
of your feelings.
Whisper My name in loving tenderness. My peace
will gradually work its way through your entire being."

Next, I see this on a Facebook page that I follow-
As the new year dawns.001

Isn't that beautiful?
From darkness You bring forth light.
You are the light that gives us sight.

Lastly...I went on Pinterest looking for a picture.
A very specific picture that I saw only in my mind.
So I typed in the search box these 3 words-
Jesus and Cats
and this is what popped up....

That my lovely readers is exactly what my boy Junie looked like.
And I kid you not!! That was the first  image that showed up.

On a whim, I decided to go further back in my devotionals.
Just to see what I had been missing...blinded by my ever
increasing discomfort over my sick boy.

The Shack:Reflections had this one on 12/27
"Don't ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak...
This world is full of tears, but if you remember I promised that it would be Me who would wipe them from your eyes."

God just keeps rocking my world, people!

I can find comfort in Him.
I just needed to look for it.
I just needed to look for Him.
And is, He IS everywhere.

Thank You Jesus.
For Your peace and Your light.
Thank You for Your very presence
that I am too blind to see.
Thank You for showing up in my life.
Thank You for wiping my eyes
and drying my tears
and for leading me to read Your word
where I have found such comfort.
Thank You for giving that Vet the gift of compassion.
Thank You for letting our boy Junie
pass from this world into the next with such ease.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

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