Saturday, February 14, 2015

True Love

The other day I watched and listened as my beloved put away an opened bag of potato chips.
He'd roll the bag down then squeeze out the air. Roll, crackle crackle, squeeze, crunch crunch.
Hey! I screamed... you're breaking those chips into crumbs!

No I'm not he replied. I'm just trying to force out the air so they don't get stale.

He did this 4 times...roll,squeeze,roll,squeeze,roll,squeeze,roll,squeeze.
I could hear those delicious, crispy chips with the ridges busting into teeny tiny pieces.
Don't believe me??

I took a picture.
Every chip left in that bag was no bigger than a dime.
Who gives a shit if they're stale when they're all the size of a dime or smaller?
They're garbage either way.

This is what we do, him & I.... He aggravates me and I yell at him.
He crunches an entire bag of chips and I tell him to stop it.
I forget to make dinner and he says no big deal..we'll find something.
He shovels snow for 3 solid hours and I do laundry for six hours straight.
He works outside while I work inside.
He likes sweet things, I like salty.
He could eat beef with a side of beef and extra beef for dinner.
While I'm not a vegetarian, I prefer to eat veggies for dinner.

I LOVE rice, couscous, Quinoa. He doesn't. Refuses to eat it. Period.
He needs the fan blowing on him at night.  And. I. need. it. off.
(You'd think I would want it on due to these accursed hot flashes.
But NO! The sound of it whirring makes me nuts and keeps me from sleeping)

I've gained 40 pounds since we got married 32 years ago.
So has he but his weight gain doesn't bother me in the least.
My weight gain appears not to bother him either or so he says.

I like to drink 2 glasses of wine every night to relax.
He is sober but not recovered.
Don't get me wrong...he is 100% sober and so much better than he was 5 years ago.
But then again, I am so much better than I was 5 years ago too
(Thank you Alanon)

Today is Valentine's Day. A day to proclaim and celebrate Love.
We have no romantic plans and I'm ok with that.
I'm babysitting for our grandson who lives 45 minutes away from us
while he is staying home to replace our awful bathroom floor.

We've done life together since 1981, married since 1983.

It took us a looonnnngggg time to get comfortable with each other.
It took us a long ass time to forgive each other
and an even longer time relearning how to love each other well.

Believe it or not, riding our Harley helped us with that.
For some reason being on that thing brings us closer
to each other and closer to nature.
Some of the things we've seen have Wowed us.

One time the color of the sky at sunset looked like pink cotton candy.
The amazing colors we've seen during Autumn or the way the top of the corn stalks
glistened and sparkled in the sun like gold glitter...
Feeling the temperature change when riding thru a grove of pine trees
and the smell...omg but the smell of pine trees is amazing when you're on a Harley.
So was that field of strawberries we rode past.

We ride for a weekend in the summer and spend the night in a hotel
feeling the cool sheets on our sunburned arms and faces
and realize how blessed and lucky we are to have each other
and the time and the funds to do this sort of thing.

We ride past broken down, dilapidated and empty farms
and I wonder what happened to the people living there.
I wonder what the last straw was for them...Finances? Hate? Apathy?
Him and I have gone through it all together.
Bankruptcy, unfaithfulness, separation, alcoholism, death of a child, job loss.

And through it all, I loved him and still wanted to be with him.
But it wasn't easy.
Some of those years we were so hateful and so hard on each other!

It just took us a while to figure out that we'd rather do life together than apart.
Thank You Jesus for nearly 32 years with this man of mine.


  1. Life. It can rip us apart. It pulls us back together then rips us apart again. And so it goes. If we can just hold on to the times where it pulls us back together. And with hope, the bag of broken potato chips won't send us over the edge.
    I love you, Lolly. xo

  2. Oh I love this post! I needed to read this today for multiple reasons!! Thanks for your honesty!!