She came bearing gifts for my two grandkids.
She got right down on my dirty hardwood floors
And spoke to them from their eye level.
She feigned interest in them and their toys and their chatter
Or maybe it wasn't feigned interest and I am just a jerk.
Most days it's all I can do to get them to Please! Eat Something!!
And pick up their toys and GO POTTY!!!
I realize that I am isolated.....that I have isolated myself.
My two closest friends are a 5 year old and a two year old.
I know all of the current cartoon characters on TV and what time they are on.
Lunch for them is a string cheese, a juice box and a few Ritz crackers.
How they exist on that I have no idea.
This morning I tried oatmeal for the 5 year old.
He gagged and choked and threw up the one bite back into his full bowl.
The toast I made for them after that fed the cold and starving Squirrels
that live in our backyard along with a partially eaten Apple that the
2 year old insisted on, and then refused to eat after that first bite.
It is -4 degrees today with a Wind Chill of -27.
As I type this I am in bare feet and a tank top and sweat pants.
My unwashed hair is in a ponytail cuz I woke up late and had no time to shower.
But the kids don't seem to notice, so no big whoop.
It only started to bother me when my cousin walked in.
Then I felt like I should have been showered and dressed and blow dried.
It really didn't appear to bother her though.
She was all about them kids...talking, playing, listening.
I should be like that I thought to myself.
And 2 seconds later, I realized that I AM LIKE THAT!
I am on the floor with them. I do play the games and build the puzzles.
I play with Thomas Trains and Dolls and play food.
We watch cartoons and movies and DVD's Ad nauseam.
We practice our word picture flashcards and go to the library for books.
Most days I'm tired and exhausted and do not want to wipe one. more. butt.
But their eyes....Their eyes are full of life and sparks and wonder.
I apologize to them at the end of every day for yelling at them.
And every single morning they trip over themselves to get to me
as they are coming in the front door.
While trying to think up a title for this post, these were my thought choices-
Camp Happy Granny
Camp Granny's Fanny
Crabby Granny's Fat Camp
Granny's Crabby Fanny Camp
Crabby Granny's Fanny
Granny's Camp is Crabby
Crabby granny is a Fanny
I went with the first one.
Having the grandkids here everyday DOES make me happy.
It makes me crabby too, but seeing their bright shining faces
smiling back at me every morning makes it all worth it.
I am a jerk. I am crabby. I am a fanny.
Thanks for listening to me rant Ad nauseam about my grandkids.
You list is so funny I have tears in my eyes. It is so easy to sail in bearing gifts and play for a few minutes then leave. Think on this.... I am sure she gets paid very, very well for what she does!
ReplyDeleteKids, bless their hearts and runny noses are exhausting! I have no idea how you do it. My greatest fear aside from getting a terminal illness is getting pregnant at 44. I am way too old for that nonsense. All that said, I loved when my kids were small. It was the best time. Love covers a lot, doesn't it?
Lolly, you made me laugh but also, you brought back all those memories of being a young mom and feeling "less than" everyone else. Failing, screaming, crying, laughing....being human. I wish I was a little easier on that gal and I wish that for you everyday. Can't imagine doing it now, with so much more patience but with so much less energy.
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT a "Jerk or a Fanny". You may be cranky but you know its temporary. You are a wonderful woman, raising someone elses kids, out of a deep love for them. Remeber to be kind to yourself lady. I can see, from where I am standing, that you deserve kindness and gentleness and who better to get it from than yourself?
Thank goodness we always have tomorrow to do a little better♥
Lolly....be gentle and generous with your self! You are doing a very tiring job for the SECOND time around! <3
ReplyDelete