Thursday, April 7, 2016

Praying and longing for more

So I wrote this post a while back.
The woman I mentioned who wanted grandchildren will finally get her wish this weekend.
Her 39 year old daughter is due to give birth on Saturday. It is a boy.
Unfortunately this woman who wanted grandchildren so badly just died on Monday after a two week battle with pneumonia. She was 69 years old.
I cannot imagine what her daughter must be going through.
I am heartbroken as is everyone else.

Sometimes God does this shit and we don't know why.
It's times like these that I question Him.
Not really question, more like want to ask-   "What the hell God?"

My friend Amy who has colon cancer just got awful news too.
Her cancer has spread to her lungs and liver.
She is 45 years old. She too wanted grandkids some day. But she has two teenagers at home.
There will be no chance for grandkids for her.
I am heartbroken as is everyone else.

We have all been so hopeful and praying so hard.
Did our prayers go unanswered? Was God not listening?
Does He not see or care about our broken hearts?
Why do these bad things happen to good people?

Today I have no answers. I'm saddened by all this.
It's a shit day with shitty weather and even shittier news.

I've looked but cannot find a prayer or a quote that will address the absolute madness of these two situations.
Today I am shaking my fist at God.
I want Him to know that He is breaking hearts all over the place.
I want Him to know that I am displeased.
And I want Him to stop it.
To just stop.

1 comment:

  1. Oh these times are so hard. When nothing makes sense, there are no answers to any of our questions....and all we can do is trust. So so hard. God understands our anger and our fear and He doesn't mind if we shake our fist.....He gets it.