Broken

Real quick post.
Something is wrong with my laptop. It's broken.
I don't know if I need a knew one or maybe fix this one.
I'm trying to figure out how to put my blog on my IPhone.
Anybody know if that is even possible?
If I don't post for a while you'll know why...

My heart is broken.
My son got a job in Arizona. He'll be moving in three weeks.
It makes me extremely weepy to think about it.

My body is broken.
I'm sick with a sore throat, body aches and a headache. Blech.

Gratitude List-
1. I'm glad my son got a job.
2. I'm glad he found someone that he loves. (His girlfriend moved there in June)
3. Advil for my headache and sore throat.
4. My IPhone.
5. It's Friday night and we have no plans...Yay!
6. Hot Tea and Honey
7. Chicken Noodle Soup
8. Getting to sleep in tomorrow morning
9. Rain that benefited my garden today
10. The grandkids didn't fight at all today- no hitting or yelling or crying!


Wish me luck with this old laptop.
Thanks for reading,  Love Lolly

(ps- You could friend request me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram.
I've got both of those apps on my phone.
I believe y'all know my real name.
If not let me know in the comments and I'll figure out a way to get it to you.)

Saturday

I bawled all the way home from dropping the grand kids off at their house on Saturday.
I told my husband that it felt like I had just given back my foster children to their real parents.

They are here with me 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, and they only live 3 blocks away from us,
so yes, I am being dramatic.

In my own defense, my 3 year old granddaughter also bawled and cried and yelled NOOOOO
when she noticed it was their street we were driving on.

I thought it was going to be harder on me than it actually was, to have them with us for 4 days.
Now, don't get me wrong...it was stressful and I am as bone tired and weary as I have ever been.
But honestly I think the stress of the A/C and the fridge going out was worse.
I'm still tripping over that damn cooler. (New fridge comes tomorrow! So does the new A/C unit!)
The Summer heat and humidity 'bout drove me crazy though.
Getting them in and out of the car is such a hassle when everything inside the car
feels like a million degrees.
They were such troopers too. Going to Dr. appointments with us and then driving back and forth
to the physical therapy building...that's a hard thing to do when you are 6 and 3 years old.
They got Happy Meals on the day we had to go to both places in the span of 2 hours.

We took them to the local ribfest and let them play games on the carnival midway-
They both won huge blow up floaties and small stuffed animal snakes.
I fed them barbequed chicken and they ate it faster than I could pull it off the bone.
They danced like 2 little fairie sprites on our way back to the car at sunset.

I miss watching them sleep and looking like perfect angels.
I miss seeing their fuzzy little bed heads in the early morning.
When I have them during the day they don't act like perfect angels nor are their heads fuzzy :)

I appreciate all of your comments of support. It lifted me up when I was feeling mighty low.
With that being said, I realize as of late that I haven't been seeing or feeling much gratitude
in my life.So I thought I'd try something here-

For everything I complain or whine about I must find something for which to be grateful for.
So here's my gratitude list for this bright and sunny Monday morning-

1. I woke up healthy, happy and whole.
2. The portable A/C window units are doing a great job of cooling our house.
3. Both my daughter and my husband are healing better and faster than I thought they would.
4. My grand kids are coming back over today and we are going to the beach and then the library.
5. Tomorrow we get a brand new refrigerator and a new central air unit.
6. My gardens are thriving in this heat and humidity...they look amazing and lush and green.
7. My daily devotionals that have been pointing me back towards praising and worshiping Jesus.
    (Sorry Lord, I forget about that when I am stressed)
8. A sister who prays for me and with me.
9. A leisurely morning shower.
10. How wonderful coffee tastes in the morning.
11. A comfy sundress.
12. Tomatoes growing in my garden. Celery too.
13. The smell of Pineapple Sage.
14. Grilled Steak and veggies for dinner last night.
15. My new Steam mop that we got for free with our credit card points.
16. Pictures on Instagram. I love this app

That's it for now.
Thanks for reading!
Love,  Lolly

Venting

I don't want your sympathy. I just want to vent.
The AC went out today. The compressor is seized up.
Also.... today it felt like 91 degrees and my house feels like an oven.
Two days ago the fridge stopped working.
The new one arrives on Monday.
I have a cooler in my kitchen that is pissing me off cuz I keep tripping over it.
A month ago the water heater burned up and was replaced.
Things come in threes, right?? I'm thinking we should be good now.

My husband had shoulder surgery a week ago.
My daughter had a hysterectomy yesterday.
My husband has physical therapy every day for two weeks.
I've had my grandkids for 3 straight days- 24 hrs a day.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of being the family nurse/caregiver.
I'm exhausted.
The dishes keep piling up as does the laundry.
When in the hell am I supposed to get to it???
How did I do this before?

Sitting in hospitals, waiting at Dr's offices, dropping off him at PT...
I'm stretched real thin right now.

Does that sound bad? Do I sound like a jerk because I'm being pulled in too may directions?
It's so hot in my house that it is making me cranky and short tempered.
The grandkids won't eat what I give them for breakfast or lunch. They're hot and cranky too.
They want Popsicles. Fine by me. I pretend that they are made of fruit instead of sugar and dye.

My daughters husband is an actual ass. I dislike him immensely.
He was dirty, drunk and disheveled at the hospital during her surgery.
He was combative and threatening to the staff. He accused them of mistreatment and lying.
I wanted to kill him myself. The ASS!!!

I'm thinking that Tuesday night meetings might still be a good idea for me.

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I sent my husband out for a night with the guys tonight.
Go, I said. Go and enjoy yourself. I hope he has a good time.
I bathed the grandkids, put them to bed, did all the dishes, started the laundry and typed this post.
I could use a break myself. The kids go home tomorrow afternoon.
I bet I miss them once I drop them off.

This sounds like a rambling post, and maybe it is.
All I know is I'm tired and in need of a shower.
I need for someone to NOT need me for just a blessed minute.

I'll keep ya posted. Right now I'm heading to bed.
Things will be better tomorrow I hope.