Perspective

November 28, 2016

Every morning I read a devotional titled Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.
This morning at 6:30am, I rushed through it like I usually do.

Jesus Calling Devotion For November 28-
Rest in the deep assurance of My unfailing Love. Let your body, mind, and spirit relax in My Presence. Release into My care anything that is troubling you, so that you can focus your full attention on Me. Be awed by the vast dimensions of My Love for you: wider, longer, higher, and deeper than anything you know. Rejoice that this marvelous Love is yours forever!

The best response to this glorious gift is a life steeped in thankfulness. Every time you thank Me, you acknowledge that I am your Lord and Provider. This is the proper stance for a child of God: receiving with thanksgiving. Bring Me the sacrifice of gratitude, and watch to see how much I bless you.

Then I jumped right on into my daily routine.

Bed made, laundry gathered,  lunch made for my son, cat box cleaned, garbage and recycles taken out, folded a load of clothes, prepared for the grandkids arrival- ie: making sure the toy room was orderly, wiped down their little table with a clorox wipe, made them their chocolate milk, set out bowls and spoons for cereal.

It doesn't sound like a lot but I feel like I run my tail off until they get here, and then when they do get here, I run some more ;)

It's true. I make them breakfast, comb their little bed heads, help them to brush their teeth and wash their faces, make sure back packs are ready to go and then we walk my grandson to school.

Last week we decided to take our little girl Chihuahua with us for our daily walk to school because she seems lonely since brother Chihuahua is no longer with us.

So...as I was waiting for the grandkids to get here I received a text from my daughter- the one who just had a baby 2 months ago.

She also reads the Jesus Calling devotional. She texted that today's reading was just what she needed to hear today. She is scheduled for an ultrasound today to determine if she'll need a hysterectomy. She is still actively bleeding after 10 weeks post partum.  She cannot have any more children due to the placenta accretta she developed during her second pregnancy and she's understandably upset about this. It's hard to be thankful and praise Jesus for something like that.  

Anyway... like I said I earlier I was racing through my morning and after getting her text I stopped and reread todays reading...slower this time. I read it and reread it again, finally seeing the words that I should have seen in the first place if I hadn't been in such a hurry to get the reading done with.
The last sentence really spoke to me.

            Bring Me the sacrifice of gratitude, and watch to see how much I bless you.

Lately I've found myself to be complaining and grouchy. It's then I realize that I haven't been practicing my gratitude very much. So before I hit publish on this post I reread it to look for typos and that's when I really see my words and that's when I hear what I really needed to hear today.

If I read between some of those lines I can see so much that I have to be thankful and grateful for.

So here's my list for today-

1. Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

2. I can read

3. I can rest

4. My body

5. My mind

6. God's presence

7. My bed

8. Laundry to wash, dry and fold

9. My new dryer

10. My old washer

11. Food in the fridge

12. My son

13. His cat

14. Garbage service

15. Grandkids

16. Toys

17. Chocolate milk

18. Brushes and combs

19. Toothpaste

20. Back packs

21. Walking to school

22. Our girl Chihuahua

23. 14 happy years with Our boy Chihuahua who is no longer ill or suffering

24. Our caring Veterinarian

25. Texting with my daughter

26. No Hysterectomy needed yet

27. Ultra sound machines

28. Her OB/Gyne health care team

29. Maxi pads

30. God's unfailing love for me

Pretty awesome stuff, right?

Thanks for reading,
Love Lolly

Laying low

As I curl up on my couch, mourning the loss of my dog, I've taken to rereading some poetry and listening to music that is soothing to my soul. I so appreciate your lovely comments to me during this sad time in my life. As I look back and reflect, I can see that I have had it a bit rough these last 6 months. My husband had surgery in July and was home for 8 weeks. My daughter had a hysterectomy, also in July. The surgeons father had passed away that very same morning. Our AC went out and the fridge conked out the week after their surgeries. My lap top fried and I lost 4 years worth of pictures. In September my other daughter had a traumatic labor and delivery of her second child. She could have died. They both could have. Then my granddaughter stopped going to the bathroom and it took 15 days to fix her while giving her an adult dose of a medicine that has questionable, worrisome side effects. Add to all of that stress the presidential election and the debates and the awful attack ads had on our country, along with the awful outcome and I think you might have the beginnings of a mental breakdown. Two weeks ago my little 14 year old dog got sick, rallied for a day or two and then worsened. He died yesterday. 
I feel like I cannot breathe due to the grief and anxiety I am experiencing. 
I have no appetite and I am constantly tired and on edge. Is it any wonder???
I found the following on Carrie Newcomer's Facebook page this morning and it made my eyes tear up.

Today we do what we have always done. 

We take care of one another and try to be the best people we know now to be.
Today I grieve what feels like a death, a deep and abiding loss. 

I know that it will take time for the world to feel safe again. 

Today we take sanctuary. 

We gather and remember what is fine, beautiful, true, whole and sacred.
I encourage everyone to take time today to call someone you love, walk in the woods, hug your children, listen to music and read poetry. 

These fine and true things have not gone away, they are still here, grounding us and showing us how to keep moving forward.
Love is the long view. Love will always be the final word.
Today we honestly live out our grief, sadness and fear, but then we choose love.
Again, we choose love.
Again, we choose love.
All my life, again and again, I will choose love.

Be kind to yourself and one another.
Take Sanctuary and Yes, We Can Do This Hard Thing. 

I'm trying real hard to be gentle with myself for the next few days. I'll be back. But I'm thinking a good dose of peace and quiet is exactly what I need right now. 

Thanks for your heartfelt comments. I love you ladies.

Love, Lolly

Pausing

I thought I liked to post when I'm sad but I guess not. I'm mourning the passing of my little dog. I feel wrecked and sadder than I thought possible. I'm doing ok...as well as can be expected. I'll be back in a while. Just need time to process his passing. Thanks for the kind responses on Facebook. I love you girls.
Lolly

I voted early

I'll add my two cents and do a blog post about election day and facing the future.
I admit that today has been filled with anxiety for me.
But it's not because of the candidates, although I do intensely dislike one of them and I will freak out if that candidate is elected!
I realize that lately I've been wrestling with anxiety. A lot.

It started when my daughter had a traumatic birth back in September.
Then my 3 year old granddaughter stopped pooping and didn't have a BM for 10 days. She was put on Miralax and it STILL took her 5 days to go potty.
Add to that the presidential debates and the biased media reports and the election attack ads on TV.
I got sick myself in the middle of all of that with a head cold and a sore throat.
Then my husband got a virus and was sick with body aches, and extreme fatigue for a week.
We found lumps in one dogs neck and near another dogs breastbone.
Trips to the vet cost us nearly $400.00 but the lumps turned out to be simple salivary glands and a harmless fatty tumor to keep an eye on.
Then our 14 year old Chihuahua got bit by a spider near his mouth and his face swelled. Back to the vet for steroids and benadryl.
Two days after that he developed a Pancreatitis attack with vomiting and bloody diarrhea.

Today feels like doomsday to me. My nerves feel shot.
My grandson has a cold and a cough that will. not. quit.
My granddaughter is still struggling with going potty...it's better but not normal yet.
I am so nervous about this poor old sick dog that I can hardly think straight.
I don't want him to suffer but I don't want him to die either.

I'm hot and sweaty and short tempered. I'm not hungry and I feel like I could sleep til December..
I called my sister so we could pray together. I told her that I've been praying since my daughter had her baby and  I have continued my prayers for sick dogs and grandkids and husband.
But honestly I haven't been praying as much as I have been bossing God around.

Don't let my dog die God. Don't let my daughter or granddaughter die God. Don't let my other grandkids be sick or unhealthy. Please make my grandson stop coughing God.

I'm feeling at a loss and out of control and it scares me. The news scares me.
I want life to go my way and when it doesn't I get all panicky.
My sister and I decided that what we need to do is another Bible study.
Something that keeps us in the word.
Something that reminds us about the love of God.
Something that will have us trusting Him again, singing praises to Him instead of only offering up our worries and prayer requests.

I read this today. It was exactly what I needed to calm my nerves about this stupid election.
It also gave me a bit of a boost in the grace department.
To give my grand kids grace with their illnesses  and potty problems.
To give my husband grace when he is ill or tired or fatigued from his own job and life.
To give myself grace for being a worry wart and for being short tempered and testy.

For remembering to post my gratitude for this week-

I voted last week so I wouldn't have to go to the polls today with the grand kids in tow.
The dog is a little better after giving him his meds (but I'm still worried)
My grandson has coughed a million times since I sat down to type this.
My granddaughter stood behind me and brushed my hair the whole time I  typed this.
This morning we made 3 dozen cookies together.
I harvested my Thyme, Lemon Thyme and Lemon Verbena and dried it for winter storage.
Next week I'll harvest the Lavender.
I made a batch of cucumbers and dill for my husbands lunch.
Today it is sunny and 60 degrees. (They predicted rain)
Outside my window the trees are glowing gold and orange.
I have a sister that prays with me and for me when I call her filled with anxiety.

I'm praying that this election goes smoothly. My nerves could use a break.

Thanks for reading,
Love Lolly

What brings you deep joy?

On Instagram I saw this writing prompt that asked the question
What brings you deep joy?
And so, since I stated in my last post that I wanted to start writing down the good things that I find in my life, I figured that was a great topic for me to start off with.

So...What brings you deep joy?

Here's my partial list-

That first sip of coffee in the morning
Answered Prayer. You might be amazed at how often this happens to me.
Jesus and His Mercy, Grace and Light in my life
The sound of our pets eating...I love when I can hear them crunch their kibble
The feel of flannel sheets when it's freezing cold outside
Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup
Impending Snowstorms or Blizzards (as long as we are prepared for it)
Rainy gray Mondays in November
The smell of Fall-dry leaves, apples, cinnamon & pumpkin spice
The sound and smell of Rain
The icy smell of cold air and tiny Snowflakes
The smell of Books
The indescribable smell of my grand children's heads
The taste of dark Chocolate melting on my tongue
Listening to the roar of the Ocean with my feet in the warm sand*
*(if you listen carefully it is saying Yahweh)
The sight, sounds and smell of Devils Lake, Wisconsin
Sitting behind my husband on our Harley
No piles of dirty laundry on Christmas morning
The birds at  my feeders

That's it for now. Seems like such a short list. I know there's more.
Guess I'll make this a running list and add to it as I go along.

Have a great weekend friends!
Thanks for reading,
Love, Lolly