Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Laying low

As I curl up on my couch, mourning the loss of my dog, I've taken to rereading some poetry and listening to music that is soothing to my soul. I so appreciate your lovely comments to me during this sad time in my life. As I look back and reflect, I can see that I have had it a bit rough these last 6 months. My husband had surgery in July and was home for 8 weeks. My daughter had a hysterectomy, also in July. The surgeons father had passed away that very same morning. Our AC went out and the fridge conked out the week after their surgeries. My lap top fried and I lost 4 years worth of pictures. In September my other daughter had a traumatic labor and delivery of her second child. She could have died. They both could have. Then my granddaughter stopped going to the bathroom and it took 15 days to fix her while giving her an adult dose of a medicine that has questionable, worrisome side effects. Add to all of that stress the presidential election and the debates and the awful attack ads had on our country, along with the awful outcome and I think you might have the beginnings of a mental breakdown. Two weeks ago my little 14 year old dog got sick, rallied for a day or two and then worsened. He died yesterday. 
I feel like I cannot breathe due to the grief and anxiety I am experiencing. 
I have no appetite and I am constantly tired and on edge. Is it any wonder???
I found the following on Carrie Newcomer's Facebook page this morning and it made my eyes tear up.

Today we do what we have always done. 
We take care of one another and try to be the best people we know now to be.
Today I grieve what feels like a death, a deep and abiding loss. 
I know that it will take time for the world to feel safe again. 
Today we take sanctuary. 
We gather and remember what is fine, beautiful, true, whole and sacred.
I encourage everyone to take time today to call someone you love, walk in the woods, hug your children, listen to music and read poetry. 
These fine and true things have not gone away, they are still here, grounding us and showing us how to keep moving forward.
Love is the long view. Love will always be the final word.
Today we honestly live out our grief, sadness and fear, but then we choose love.
Again, we choose love.
Again, we choose love.
All my life, again and again, I will choose love.
Be kind to yourself and one another.
Take Sanctuary and Yes, We Can Do This Hard Thing. 

I'm trying real hard to be gentle with myself for the next few days. I'll be back. But I'm thinking a good dose of peace and quiet is exactly what I need right now. 
Thanks for your heartfelt comments. I love you ladies.
Love, Lolly


  1. I am going to do a little housework today but mostly I'm just going to stay in bed. My soul aches and is weary. Only self care will get it back on track. You do the same. xo

  2. I think so many of us are feeling the need to step back. We are wise when we listen to those inclinations and give ourselves what we need. I too am stepping back and away from FB. I don't think it would be helpful for me at all to force my way through everyone's beautiful holiday photos for the next several weeks. Just too much in the best of circumstances. When you are limping it's more than one can bear. I'm so glad you are allowing yourself this time's true, you have been through a lot lately. Take good care my friend.