Carpe that F-ing Diem

Went to another wake last night.
This one for my childhood neighbor.
No longer a child, either one of us.
He died from ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease).
54 years old.
Had just been blessed with his first grandchild.

Also there is another high school friend with cancer.
This one has a brain tumor...already at stage 4.
Shit.

Life is so incredibly short
Sometimes it is shortened up a bit more
depending upon medical diagnosis's.

Sort of feels like I need to light a fire under my ass
I feel tense, like I need to move
Like I am tired of waiting.

With 2 untimely deaths within a few weeks of each other-
my friend the pharmacist and now my neighbor
I'm asking myself what it is that I am waiting for.....

I have stacks of books that I want to read.
Never seem to find the time to crack one open.
(That doesn't stop me from adding to the pile though.)

So I grabbed the stack and started going through them.
First one I picked up was a clunker.
Dry, stupid, boring.
The dust jacket was better than the book.

Found the receipt tucked inside and decided to return it.

Bought me a cook book instead.  Cost $25.00!!!
But!
It makes me feel wonderful to own that cook book.
I had checked it out at the library earlier last week
and had fallen in love with it.
Can a body fall in love with a book? A cookbook?
Why Yes. Yes they can.
Cannot hardly wait to try some of these recipes.

And why should I wait?
Again...What am I waiting for??
The time to live is now.

I need to make a massive shift in this stale life of mine.

Use the fancy dishes, make the recipes, take the trips, read the books!

Yesterday I was chasing my grandson around the living room
Him riding his bike and wearing Minion jammies
Giggling and screaming and peddling with all his might
Riding hell bent for leather trying to outrun me.
While 1 year old Fiona stood in her playpen watching,
Laughing at us in between showing off her Indian war whoops.

I scooped her up and shook my hair in her face
Which made her laugh all the more
Which made ME really laugh loud and long and true.

I felt or heard or sensed a prompt-
Live, Lolly, Live.

Forget about that weight problem you think you have.
Why do you care what other people think of you?
Sing in church...loud! Raise your hands in praise!
Love your Lord Jesus, your husband, your kids and grandkids.
Use that cookbook til the pages are falling out.
Laugh, eat, pray, sleep.

Release, let go and Live!

Let go of the shoulda, woulda, coulda's and live.