Monday, October 3, 2016

The new normal

I've been at my daughters house off and on for about 2 weeks now.
We started taking turns staying with her overnight even before the baby was born.
Her blood pressure would be so high at night that it scared us all.
We were all so worried about her having a possible stroke.
She was ordered to bed and that's hard to do when you have an active 2 year old in the house.
So between us and her mother in law we divided the babysitting duties.
When it was my (our) turn my husband would play with and entertain our two year old grandson,  whilst I cared for our grown daughter.
I did dishes, made meals, took out the garbage and recycles, washed, dried and folded laundry.
I changed his poopy diapers, picked up his toys strewn from one end of the house to the other and slept on the floor of his bedroom while he cried through the night for his momma.
Her mother in law (the big jerk) didn't lift a finger when it was her turn other than change his diapers, feed him and put him to bed.
I showed up for my shift on Friday night at 6:00pm after a full day with our other two grand kids.
I found a sink full of dirty dishes, full garbage cans and an explosion of toys everywhere.
All she said was "Bye" and the door slammed behind her.

Since our daughter had that emergency C-section she's been on light duty.
She lost a lot of blood.
The hospital wanted to do a blood transfusion but my daughter and her husband opted to try iron pills and a high iron diet to up her red blood cells. Idiots.
She feels the full brunt of her decision today I can tell you.
She has a had a headache almost constant for two weeks. Her skin color is waxy and pale. She's got a stomach ache from the iron, too many pain killers and then on top of that she is constipated too.
She has no appetite, is getting little sleep due to the presence of the new baby and is still attempting to breast feed. She feels guilty that she can't be active with her two year old son.
She cries. From the hormones, from being tired, from feeling ill, from the OB telling them that they can have no more babies.
After what she's been thru, I find it hard to believe that she would want anymore.
I keep telling her to try and see the wonder of it all, the miracle of it all.
She agrees with me that she should be grateful, and says she is trying to find the joy but she is still sad about the situation.

Her daughter is a dream baby. Undemanding..only crying when hungry or occasionally when her diaper is being changed. She was even quiet during her first bath.
She looks around with those beautiful blue newborn eyes all dreamy like. A perfect rosebud mouth.
Teeny tiny perfect little hands and feet. She is perfectly adorable.
I'm hoping that as the weeks progress and my daughter's strength returns to normal she'll be able to see all of the wonders of this perfect little human being.

We're back to taking turns babysitting on the next few weekends. Her husband has to go to work for a few days next week, so I'll be spending the night there this coming Saturday.
I'm looking forward to it.
To tell you the truth, it feels good to be needed. It feels good to do her dishes and laundry, to tell her to go take a nap, to make lunch and dinner for her, to help her out with the kids.
For now, this is our new normal. I'll take the inconvenience of it and be glad of it.
Because it means they both survived a scary delivery. It easily could have had a very different ending.

Thank You Jesus for listening to all of our prayers.
Thank You Jesus for favors granted.
I am feeling very blessed indeed.

Delaney Rey you're loved more than you will ever know!


  1. Having a baby should be a time of total joy and it is. It is! Like Joy+++++++++! But it can be a time of stress and exhaustion and yes, sadness. When I had my my tubes removed I went through a time of grief even though I absolutely did not want anymore children. I was surprised when I had my total hysterectomy last January that I felt those feelings again even though I was already not able to get pregnant from having my tubes removed. It was more "an end of an era" sort of thing. Having babies, all two of them, was the best thing I ever did and I knew that was done.
    But that baby girl! Oh, look at her! I want to give her a million kisses! Those cheeks! Am I using too many exclamation points? If any event deserved them it is the birth of a baby.
    Your daughter's mom-in-law. Seriously? She would be more of a help to stay at home. When my kids were born my mom was there for at least 12 hours a day cooking and cleaning and doing the endless laundry. My MIL? Nothing. Oh, but she did let me know how hurt she was after I said I needed to sleep after being in labour for 24 hours and not sleeping for 12 hours after that because I was learning to breastfeed. She also let me know how tired her son looked. Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. I am in awe at the kind of mother and grandmother you are. May God bless and strengthen every one of you. And such a beautiful babe!

  3. I'm just catching up Lolly.....I'm so glad your girl is ok and that you were able to love her nurture her and take care of her for awhile. That is what is in our hearts, isn't it. We just want to love our kids. Congratulations on the beautiful Bebe.