Only God knows why

Today I am going to the memorial service for my friend that commited suicide. It seems appropriate to me that the day is gray and rainy...as if even the heavens are sad and crying. I feel sooo bad for his Momma. She is not dealing with this very well, which is understandable. I keep imagining what it was like for her when he was a small boy and how it made her feel to  look at her little boy while he was sleeping or playing or riding his bike. Remembering his first tooth, his first word, his favorite food. That feeling you get, like your heart is gonna burst, cuz you love that baby of yours sooo much that it hurts. How does she go on now that he is gone? How does she begin to live again? What is the life lesson here???  Where is the blessing??? One of the things that keeps going thru my head is that one line of lyrics from the  Kid Rock song "Only God knows why". Maybe there isn't a lesson to be learned or a blessing to benefit from this situation. Maybe it is just a sad situation and God will give his Momma and the rest of us the strength to continue on with our lives. May Eric be resting in the comfort of  HIS arms, til we meet again.