Friday, March 2, 2012

Shutting my mouth

After re-reading my last post I realized that I sounded like a whiney adult. Awww, poor me! I'm whining about not being able to lose weight because I quit smoking and gained 20 pounds. Talking to my sister yesterday put my whining into perspective. I said to her "what a jerk I am! Here I am crying about being overweight when some people didn't even eat yesterday. Awww poor me. I gave up smoking a pack a day which was costing me $6.00 each day, and somewhere, someone would have loved to have had that $6.00 a day to eat lunch. And here I sit in a bagel shop bitching about being overweight and bitching about eating too much instead of smoking!"  At some point in my rant, I started to hear myself. To actually hear what I was saying and it stopped me cold to hear how selfish and spoiled I sounded. Sometimes God shows up in the most unexpected places and yesterday it was in a bagel shop. And He made me listen to myself as I whined to my sister and He made me think about what I was saying and He made me feel shame and it was sooo good. Some days I do realize that the life lessons I am learning really are my blessings in disguise. I just need to shut my mouth to hear them.

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