Progress

Ok. Here we go... Today's lesson, class,  is learning how to make an amends. It means to apologize to someone you did wrong to and then to ask them for forgiveness. I can feel myself wanting to raise my hand to the teacher and asking..."What if I don't want to, yet?"
Nuts! No choice here but to do it. And it's a good choice really. I'm not afraid to offer this amends like I would have been in the past. I'm not stewing over it, and I can see the error of my ways, and I can see where I should have kept out of the situation and by butting in I might have made a bad situation worse. However, what's done is done and now I must repair what I have done in order to move forward. I want no more regrets hanging around my head like in the past. I want things resolved...no, I need things resolved so I don't worry and fret myself to death wondering about the what ifs. What if I had said this or what if he had only done that instead. That's the sort of shit that wrecked me in the past. The sort of shit that kept me up all night worrying and projecting all sorts of scenerios. No. Thank. You. Not any more.
Feels good to be doing the emotionally healthy thing. At least it shows that I am making some progress. I'll let you know how I feel when it's over and done with. Until then...I am whispering the Serenity Prayer along with you today.