Friday, April 13, 2012

Walking the road

What is it about Tuesday night meetings that make me feel so...I don't know...normal?? Is it because everybody at those meetings thinks like I do? They have, after all, been in my shoes so to speak. I sense no pretending, no hiding behind facades, no holier than thou type of feelings from these people. It feels like these people are from my same planet. I feel safe and at home. And I have shared things with them that I haven't shared with another living soul. I feel like I can honestly say that these are my "people". So what does that mean for the people that I love and live with? What does that mean for the members of my real life family? Are they not my "people" too?  Why do I feel like an outcast within my own family? Is it because I am the only one in recovery?? Is it because I have finally been given the tools that are helping me to live my life in a way that feels right to me? Am I changing for the better and moving to a place of serenity that they aren't aware of yet? Am I leaving them behind in the dust of my old self as I travel on to a better place? So often I wish that anyone of them was walking this road to recovery with me. Sometimes I feel so alone and wish that I had somebody with me on this journey. Someone who could walk with me on this road back to normal life (Ha...whatever that is). Oh well, for the time being, I guess I walk it alone. I do have my Tuesday night group and they are sharing part of the journey with me. And He walks with me, always. Hey! Maybe I'm not so alone after all. Maybe it's just a matter of my perspective. Today I am feeling the blessing of my Tuesday night Alanon meeting and the people in that room who are my fellow passengers on this journey. I do feel the love from my people. And I am thankful for that.

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