Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Wedded bliss

Our daughter is getting married this weekend. So much to do yet! We will be going out of town and living out of a hotel for 3 days. Not real happy about that part of the festivities, but Hey! at least I will have a roof over my head, food to eat, a new dress to wear and we'll be celebrating the marriage of our beautiful daughter to our soon-to-be-new son-in-law along with all of our soon to be blended families. Our family weddings are always a great time. So much laughter and dancing!!! I can't wait for that part of the reception, where me and my sisters and my cousins (who are more like my sisters than my cousins) are out on that dance floor cutting a rug. My hubs no longer dances with me. Says it is too painful for him. I'm ok with that tho. I have a great time with my sisters and all of our kids. My daughter the bride is a little tense and nervous about the ceremony and everything else going smoothly. It is an outdoor wedding and they are calling for a 30% chance of rain. I can tell that she is trying really hard not to panic. The advice that I gave her was this: "Look... it won't matter whether you marry him under an oak tree in the glorious sunshine or whether you marry him in the middle of the reception hall because of the pouring the end of the day, all that really matters is that you will have married the man of your dreams. All of the planning and money and decisions about beef or chicken, and cake or pie will mean less than nothing, should mean less than nothing, so long as you get to marry your best friend. It's all supposed to be about starting your married life together and not about having the perfect wedding." 
I didn't marry my best friend. There have been times over the years that I wish my hubs could have been my best friend. There were times he should have been my best friend, but it was not meant to be. He isn't best friend material. And I don't mean that in a negative way. He just is and always has been more concerned with himself and his wants and needs instead of mine. I learned early on not to confide in him. His alcoholism didn't allow him to empathize with me and my problems and on the rare occasion that I did tell him something that was personal and painful, he would file it away in his brain and throw those very same words back at me, like shrapnel, during his drunken rages. He wounded me with my own words of pain enough times that I never was able to recover enough trust in him to ever trust him with my innermost thoughts, dreams, fears and desires again. My daughter is not marrying an alcoholic, THANK GOD! So my hopes and dreams for her and their marriage are quite high. Here's hoping that they remain best friends for the duration of their marriage. Here's hoping that they have a life-time of wedded bliss together. And if I cry at the ceremony, please know that my tears might not be only for them and their happiness. They might just be for me a little bit too. For what I missed out on by not marrying my best friend. Course she's a girl wouldn't have worked out for me either. Haha! Here's hoping for great weather this weekend. Love will be in the air either way. We are blessed, always!


  1. Awwww it sounds like it will be a great day. Your daughter and son in law will figure out their relationship and what works for them. Have fun!!

  2. It WAS a great day!! And they got married in the glorious sunshine underneath that big old oak tree. It was stunningly beautiful. They are so blessed! And I didn't cry. I was too busy being happy!