Two weeks ago Friday, I had typed the first paragraph of a post about my new hair cut. I really thought that I had something to say about the way it made me feel. Strong, powerful, fifty and fabulous! Was even gonna try and somehow compare my lobbed off tresses to the biblical story of Samson and Delilah. I bet it would have been a great post. But I'll never know. Cuz right then, real life stepped in. Our beautiful gray cat, Baby, started to look sickly. Started acting strange. And I knew, within a matter of minutes what was happening or rather what was going to happen fairly soon.
Baby started acting sick. She sort of stumbled when she walked. She wasn't eating. She was gasping for air. And I remembered that she was 13 years old. The same age our other cat Fluffy had been. And since the poor baby hated going to the Vet, my daughter and I decided to let her pass on at home so she wouldn't be traumatized by the car ride. We tried to feed her all her favorite things....bacon, potato chips, a saucer of milk. She wanted nothing but to be left alone. And that was something that we just couldn't do. Leave her alone. We could tell that she was uncomfortable, that she couldn't find a position that allowed her to lay down and breathe at the same time. And we felt so helpless. We took turns being with all day long. Petting her, crooning nonsense words to her, trying to make her feel better when actually it was ourselves that needed the comforting. Finally after 8 hours of watching her struggle she laid herself down and breathed her last. I ugly cried after that. Felt to me like I was howling. Probably wasn't actually howling tho it felt like it at the time. Losing an animal is always so hard for me. I hate the hole that their absence leaves behind. And sometimes I hate that Rainbow Bridge. Well meaning friends have in the past, sent me copies of it or have posted on my Facebook page the Rainbow Bridge poem and I know that they mean well, but I am usually so upset and sad about my pet's passing that reading this poem doesn't comfort me in the least. In fact it usually makes me cry harder. So with that being said, I have not read that poem nor have I watched the video that I linked to this post. I've watched it in the past and I bawled the whole time. So life goes on and my house is a little quieter now. Baby was a vocal cat...always meowing and chirping at us. I will miss the sound of her voice and the sound of her squeaky purring. I will miss her one gray toe and her beautiful green expressive eyes. I will miss her dander but I won't miss the sneezing. I will miss calling her name and having her respond by peaking her head around the corner as if to say "Did you call for me"? God Speed to that Rainbow Bridge Baby. Tell Mojo and Fluffy that I said hi and that I think of them and miss them every single day. Gonna go ugly cry now. I'll be back later.