Being grateful

Today I went to try on dresses for my daughters upcoming wedding. Upcoming as in September. Nuttin'! I think the worst part is that I weigh  20 pounds more than I used to and it is very uncomfortable trying on clothes that are a size 12. I know, I know....whine, whine, whine. Nobody but me has been putting the junk food into my mouth, so I only have myself to blame. My husband tells me that I am too hard on myself and that the weight gain is more pronounced inside my head than what he notices on my body (may the good Lord bless him for that comment). But I see it and I feel it and I know it's there and I want it gone. Menopausal weight gain and quitting smoking don't go together in the least. Yesterday I craved a smoke soooo badly! Man! The urge was soooo strong, even tho it has been 17 months since I quit. And I heard the voice of Satan in my head tell me that just 1 cigarettee wouldn't hurt me and that HEY!!, maybe if I started smoking again, maybe I could loose these 20 pounds. HA! Glad that I didn't fall for that lie. I just wish that there was more that I could do to drop a few pounds. I walk 2 miles a day and my knees are really feeling it, even with the good walking shoes I bought. I read somewhere that the only thing that takes off weight gain from menopause is cardio exercises and I don't think my knees would be able to support the stress of running and jumping around. More excuses? I don't believe so, but I can tell ya that I need Advil to get through the day with my achy knees and finger joints. So, on the side positive  I am grateful for Advil for my achy joints, grateful that I did NOT cave in to the urge for a cigarette yesterday, grateful for all the crap that I shovel into my pie hole on a daily basis, grateful for my 2 year old grandson who lets me push him in his stroller as I walk my miles everyday, grateful for walking shoes, my husband, my IPOD, earbuds and worship music, the glorious sunshine for walking in, for a good nights sleep last night, for waking up today and I am grateful for the opportunity to do it all over again tomorrow. Learning my lessons and feeling my blessings!