Karma

Today I am wondering about Karma. Wanting to know why she is such an ornery bitch. Wondering why she always feels the need to pay someone back for something. I skipped my Tuesday night meeting. It was sooo hot; 110 degrees in the shade and  I felt like I was gonna melt. I was busy making my summer salads for the family party on Wednesday and just felt like I wanted to stay home. I realized I had made an error in my judgement within 23 minutes. Yes. 23 minutes. At 7:23 my qualifier started acting like the ass he can sometimes be (which then tends to make me act like an ass too) and I thought to myself...Sonofabitch! I wish that I had gone to my meeting. It never fails. Whenever I skip my meeting, I am always sorry for it within minutes. So why do I keep making that decision then??? What makes me think that I can go a week or two without the support of my Alanon peeps??? I hate to think that the good Lord hisself is trying to teach me a lesson but I'm beginning to think that that is just what he is doing. I'm beginning to think that Karma ain't female at all and instead is my HP in a very cunning disguise. Karma wants me to think that "Pay back is a bitch", like I need to be taken to task for for my actions. Now all of a sudden I am thinking that Karma isn't trying to teach me any lessons at all, but God is trying to show me the errors of my ways by making me think about the ramifications of my actions. Kinda like "Oh ho! You thought that you could do with out a meeting tonight? I will show you what you need." And re-reading that last line makes it seem like God is punishing me just like Karma, but for me....God seems so much nicer than Karma. I like to listen to Him much more than I like to listen to her. I like His lessons much more than I like hers too. Plus, His lessons usually come with blessings of some kind. So, I am off to start my day. I will take my lessons and my blessings as coming from God and Karma can go do her own thing somewhere else.  Peace!