Nurture, Nature and Nourish

5. Are you able to nurture others?
I think so.
I think I do.
Usually it's through making food or feeding my family. I love putting just the right ingredients together to make something new and exciting or even when I am making the old stand-bys, it gives me pleasure knowing that the family will be glad to see that I've prepared a favorite dish.
I try to spiritually nurture my family but truthfully, most days,
I'm too aggravated to stay calm enough to feel the peace of Jesus for myself,
let alone show it to others.
If you want me to be really truthful here, I think it's my anxiety that is causing me to feel angry and aggravated.

6. How do you take care of yourself?
I've learned to ask for a few minutes of peace and quiet.
I'm teaching myself to meditate and using calming breathing techniques.
I'll go outside and putter around in my gardens.
Sometimes I'll go shopping or take a leisurely walk around the block.
A bubble bath with my praise music in my ear buds works wonders for my poor battered soul too.


7. Do you care for others at your own expense?
Not usually. Or should I say not anymore. I used to feel guilty if I didn't scrub and clean and have every bit of housework done at the end of the day. I always felt like I had to give an accounting of my time. Then one day I just stopped doing things and no one said anything. So I slowed my pace and now I do certain things on certain days and it works much better for all concerned. Sometimes I let the grandkids get the better of me. But that is usually my own fault. They are like gremlins. Don't feed them after dark and don't get them wet. haha.  If I've fed them too much sugar or allowed them to go unchecked in their behaviours all day, then really, who should I blame? Them?
Not if I'm the one who allowed it to happen.


8. How much do you worry?
Too much. I guess I've always worried. Mostly about things I have no control over. I can remember as a small child being worried during thunderstorms, or worried that when my parents went out for the evening they wouldn't make it back home, or that one time when my dad,who was an electrician, didn't came home from work and no one knew where he was.
(Grandpa was a deputy sheriff so he went out and searched for him, eventually
finding dad who had fallen from the top of a telephone pole and lay injured on the ground.)
I worry about the grandchildren to the point of distraction.
I worry that they will get sick or injured or...worse.
I worry about my little dog getting sick and dying.
I worry about Tornadoes.
I worry about our country and the hate and divisiveness I see.


9. Do you feel too fat? Too thin?
In my teens and my early adult life I weighed 100 pounds.
People would comment that I was too thin.
"Eat something", they would say.
I do eat, I would reply. I was smug enough to say "I just have a good metabolism!"
Then at 50 I hit menopause. And all bets were off.
Everything in my closet was a size 5/6.
I blew up to size 12, but felt uncomfortable with that girth, so I would wear a size 14 to try and camouflage the weight gain.
I weighed 157 pounds and had no idea where it had all come from.
I felt bloated and sweaty and I hated the feeling of wearing clothes that touched my skin.
I suddenly understood the need for Moo-Moos, or sweat pants and huge T-shirts.
Wearing bras and underwear nearly drove me mad! I hated the tightness.
I hated the rolls on my body.  I hated that number on the scale. I hated the way I looked and felt.
I was embarrassed for him to see me naked, so I didn't let him.
Soon other things stopped happening too. I never stopped thinking about the weight gain.
I was embarrassed to be seen at the grocery store, or to have my picture taken.

After a few years the weight started to come back off. I started eating better, cut back on portion size, cut out the junk food and the fast food and I cut down on the amount of wine I had been guzzling.
I was drinking close to 3 glasses a night for a while there. I'm down to one glass a week now.
I feel like I look better and I feel better about myself.
If you're interested, I now weigh 130 pounds and wear a size 10.


10. Do you overeat or eat when you are not hungry? If so why?
On occasion I will overeat, but it's not the norm. I only overindulge because it tastes good.
 If I'm anxious or worried I don't (can't) eat at all. Sometimes I eat when I'm bored, but then I realize it's because I am bored that nothing really satisfies me. I've learned the trick that your body can't tell the difference if you want food or water, but 9 out of 10 times it's usually water that it needs.

11. Do you eat foods that really satisfy you?
Yes. I rarely eat junk food. Most of it has MSG in it and that stuff makes me feel sick.

12. Do you enjoy eating?
Yes. Except I no longer eat at most fast food joints. I can't eat that crap anymore. I am sick for days with a bellyache if I eat at the golden arches or that kentucky chicken place, or tacos...blech!

Does any of this resonate with any of you?

Thanks for reading,
Love, Lolly