Friday, February 17, 2017

What's Missing

Feb. 17th

Just in case you are following along with my 30 Day Writing Challenge, you might notice that I am a bit off.
I missed posting the February 16th prompt because I hadn't yet finished the bullet-point post from February 15th.
The prompt for today February 17th, is Post about your zodiac sign and whether or not it fits you but since I don't follow along with zodiac signs or meanings or personalities, I figured I would post the prompt for February 16th today instead. There. Good. Everybody follow that? Glad I got that all cleared up so there wouldn't be any confusion....haha
Without further ado...

Feb 16th
Something that you miss

I miss my dog. Still. Even after 3 months I miss him terribly. Sometimes the tears just leak out of my eyes when I think about him. I'd love to smell him just one more time or let him kiss my nose or snuggle next to me on the couch or hear the pitter patter of his dime sized paws on the hardwood floors. I referred to him as Mom's Boy, and he sure was that. This mom misses her boy.

I miss my sister. She died in 2008 after a brief but fatal disease. It was Blastomycosis of the brain. You won't find much information on that disease. Even the doctors at Rush/St. Luke's hospital in downtown Chicago had a tough time diagnosing her.
She was the keeper of my secrets. She was an amazing cook and had impeccable decorating sense.
She was the sister I could call on the phone and talk to for hours and I never got a chance to tell her good bye. One day she was talking but by that same evening she was in a coma. Did you know that I drove her to the hospital that day? She had such a headache. The potholes in the road caused her to groan out loud. She threw up before we even got into the hospital, right there in the ER doorway. I figured it was a brain tumor. She might have had a chance if it had been a tumor. Within two weeks of that day she was in a vegetative state and had been transferred to Rush/St Luke's where they finally diagnosed her condition. Her illness and rapid decline wrecked our family in more ways than one. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally...what we thought was a close knit family ended up imploding on itself and we've never fully recovered from that trauma of her illness and her passing.  She was 48 years old. I miss her voice, I miss her laugh.
I miss her.

I miss being 105 pounds. I do. I know weight isn't supposed to matter but it does sometimes to me. I don't do anything about it but complain so...uh...whatever.

I miss being out in the working world sometimes too. I miss having that paycheck. I miss that sense of accomplishment that I got from a job well done. I miss the camaraderie of co-workers.

I miss the snow. We are in a snow drought here in Illinois and it has been 60 days since we've had any measurable snow fall. I didn't even know that snow drought was a thing. You learn something new every day.

I miss kindness in the world. I'm not sure how the tides changed but it scares me how angry everybody has become.  How do we fix it? By being kind ourselves.

Thanks for reading,
Love, Lolly


  1. Oh, Lolly. This post makes me sad. I wish we lived closer. Close enough to go out for a coffee. To cry together.
    Have I ever shared one of my favourite songs with you? This isn't my favourite version but I am sending it to you anyway.

  2. My heart aches over what you experienced with your sister's passing. I am so sorry. I know what it's like for one event to destroy a family, but ours wasn't a physical death like this. God comfort you even now, Lolly. xoxo